Brave

I wouldn't look very brave to you,
There's nothing on my face that'll say so,
But I could tell you tales of nightmares,
That I've been through,
But you'll barely hear them and find yourself shaken;

Have you witnessed being a victim to 'rape'?
Have you seen yourself been literally 'sold'?
Have you witnessed yourself become the easy object of 'lure'?
Have you heard your own distant wild cries in your nightmares?
Have you lived without knowing if food were there tomorrow?
Have you clung on to the last string of hope outside the hospital?
Have you felt helpless with a draining bank balance?
Have you been promised and broken and played with?
Have you been nearly dead?
Have you gasped for breadth to save your own family?

Maybe not,
But people go through that,
I've gone through that,
So I might just know a little more,
What life is about,
And what it is not......

I might just have been braver than you,
In my own docile way,
For I fought all that and I'm still here,
Surviving, living each day,
Trying to make it through.....

We all have our own stories,
Sometimes they are nightmares!

A Thoughtful Day....

The pace of my bicycle can tell a lot of things,
Like today it was rash driving and I never do that,
I skipped 3 to be accidents only because I had good breaks,
Of course the children around were a little out of order riders,
But then my bicycle definitely knew I wasn't my normal self,
It was my cooling down ride,
And my bicycle listened to me peacefully without judging me,
As I rode it on the plain ups and downs;

"You don't say anything, you don't feel, do you?"
Many more accusations hit me in broad day light,
And I ignored them,
Over and over again,
It was hard earlier but later I got used to it,
Perhaps it didn't mean much,
Because they didn't mean much;

I'm a closed circle person,
As in I got only a handful of people who limit my world to,
Beyond that I can be ruthless,
And unapologetically so;

So when new people come along,
Chasing the fancy dream of being part of the closed circle,
It's best to tell them "No",
For they barely know what someone's world means,
And yet they beg to stay,
To taste the flavours of the fruit;

We let me in sometimes,
Maybe till the boundary walls,
They peek inside and want to have it all,
But they must be kept at bay,
For they will ruin what my world is,
But nothing much for them to lose....ain't it?

And then one fine day,
You will notice them over the wall,
They've made it to the closed circle,
For havoc to befall,
Now your words fall on deaf ears,
They hear none for the chase is done,
They loot and plunder like it were their kingdom,
And you're left broken with a home at stake;

So you defy the natural rule,
You fight like the knight,
And you defend your home,
That what is everything,
Is not much to many,
If keeping them away is being ruthless, insensitive,
So be it........



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From a girl who's seen death, disrespect, hatred, bias, patriarchy from very close. Who's been through a lot but talks of none. Who understands life in a different way.

Taking the stand, making the move

Many things bother us,
But there's one thing which offends us beyond belief,
When people you love,
Show you, you're not worth taking a stand,
That you were just another fleeting moment,
And that they will not budge an inch for your sake;

It will ruin you,
Break you,
And nothing remains after that,
You have to walk away,
Or live a dying lie,
Either ways, it's over;

But here's the funny part,
When you don't take a stand,
You miss someones who actually cared,
And that's a big thing in a small selfish world,
You miss being what could be real,
And that's a pretty big deal,
You miss what was absolutely some rare awesomeness,
And that's way out of the world,
So here's my question to you,
What choice would you make,
Lose that one real thing by just laying back?
Or show up for 1 insane second and bring all the magic into your life?

Taking a stand is an utmost important step,
For both parties in any bond,
It is what makes one feel you got their back,
And it is everything to a living soul,
We are social creatures,
And in the end, we all love the real magic,
We all want to it be real,
Just sometimes it's lost in the thought of 'whether to take the stand or not',
And it's your choice to make....

Apology

"If I apologize to you, I probably love you just too much"



Apologies are deep, intense and honest,
It is the ability of one to belittle one's false prejudice and bond,
It is one of the bravest emotions felt,
And extremely hard to express;

I'm finding myself in the wrong,
I've know this from the day I had pushed you away,
6 long years, I have waited for this,
It wasn't easy, neither did I expect it to be,
But I'd do it again,
If it were for you,
I'd apologize again,
Because I swore to have your back,
I swore to keep your smile;

It's hard to explain,
To a logical mind,
The reasons of my ways,
The actions that were taken then,
By all means, we love another,
With the best of us,
And sometimes it's not the way we think it should be,
It still is love and much purer at it;

You admire the fairytale,
You admire the dream,
But when you find the mould in a living being,
It's better than our dreamy beings,
They breathe, they live,
They are flawed and are real;

I had to let go,
I wish I could let you more,
And 6 long years haven't been I bet,
I'd think of it every morning and night at a stretch,
But all I knew at the end of it,
You were happy and that's what I had sworn to keep;

I'd choose life over death,
I'd choose you again and again,
And I'd apologize if that's not what you want,
But I wouldn't let anybody play with your mind,
I'd not let anybody put you through the ways of the world,
I'd not let anybody destroy the fine human you are;

I'd apologize again, if that's what I need to,
I wish I could let you more,
And 6 long years haven't been I bet.

The one (Love decoded)

Life is a blast of experiences and the day you start looking at the various perspectives of love, you'll find innumerable kinds.

Love confuses me. So much so, that one day, I decided, I wanted to know this subject much better. And I started noticing things about love. That's what I put on the blog today.

Every person is different & love between any 2 people is different. So basically, the combinations of love would the 7 billion combination 2. We don't experience even tiny bits of it. In spite of that we do experience a comprehendable amount.

Here's some I happen to notice-
1.The soulmate
2. The friend
3. The opposite attraction
4. The hobby connect
5. The nostalgia connect
6. The broken connect
7. The rebound connect
8. The selfless one

P.S. None of this is about dating. The whole concept of dating assumes you could find a possible mate through quantifying your requirements in a partner. I'll explain my views in a separate article.

There's plenty more kinds of love as I stated the number. But I'll just talk on these 8 few because they are some of the most precious kinds of relationships I've noticed.

The soulmate
-This connect is very weird. You meet and you know "I knew I loved you before, I feel I brought you to life"

The friend
-You can tell anything to this person. What's unique is the comfort level.

The opposite attraction
-Some part of the 2 people being different can often be the friction which attracts you. However, it's hard to judge which of these can be survivable because some can be disasters.

The hobby connect
-Here you connect through a form of expression which both of you are mutually fond and respective of. You connect through the love of the hobby and it's great to have someone understand your music, your painting. However, it's overrated.

The nostalgia connect
-Here you connect on things that were beautiful in that past. And the same memories in another inspire both of you and you feel the connect through those good memories. It's important to note, what you love is that memory not really each other.

The broken connect
-Here generally it's connection when you're very vulnerable. It's the inability to open up to less vulnerable people. You feel like equally hurt and you connect on the broken pieces. It's great to have someone put the broken pieces together but we miss the fact that our inability to open up actually cause the seclusion which gives us this one person who puts the pieces together. Rebounds come into the same segment.

The selfless one
- this often starts on one end and may or may not end in reciprocation. Here's the most interesting relationship form. This is what everyone wants for themselves but logically it's something that cannot happen on both sides. One has to be the vulnerable person first. This is often underrated. Also known as one sided love.

P.S. All forms of love/expression are equally respectable and wonderful. The freedom of choice is something that adds to its value. Neither of the above or others maybe superior to each other.

However, I do happen to realize that there are a few things that true love prioritizes. And true love encompasses some of the above relationship types together. These traits are-
Selflessness, friendship,soulmate.
That's it. The others maybe a plus or minus but for me, the above 3 I believe are a must in a true relationship. I am narrowing this to romantic relationships but I do believe these traits live in all the relations which really matter to us.

The friend is needed because this is that one relation which is different than your family relationships. Here you should be able to say anything,  be anyone, express anything without judgement. And that is what a true friend brings to you.

The selflessness is a trait very few of us encounter in our lives. Everybody including your parents and other have reasons to support you. It maybe very small at times but any form of support comes with expectations. And I think it's very obvious. I would never have believed love could exist unless I myself experienced selflessness. If anybody truly loves you, your happiness is their one true priority. If you love somebody, their happiness is your one true priority. The world could tear apart but you will Selflessness protect/support that person (I don't mean unethically ).

The soulmate allows you to connect beyond the walls our mind creates. We have assumptions, ideologies, thoughts implanted in us. The mysterious connect between 2 people wipes that away. It is necessary but not enough for true love I believe.

In the pursuit of love, we look for it in the wrong places, with wrong requirements and are extremely blind to the true possibilities. How many people love you with all your flaws? How many peoole don't give up on you? How many people forgive you again and again? That's the number of true love relationships you have. You can't count them, it's that rare.

In the pursuit of finding something that rare, we have criteria like -tall, rich, handsome and what not. The first rule of true love is you accept the person as is. You can help the person grow but any love which states 'ifs elses' is not love. Love is not a gap to be filled in your life, it is a choice. And it is freeing all physically, mentally, spiritually. It is sacred. And it is that one rare thing that most people will die without having their own. So if you are looking for it, give love a chance, stop being the virtual person you are.

Fairy tales come true but it's not cinderella's shoe that's important, it's the love.

Conclusion-
Love is not quantifiable. Neither can the online hobby match algorithms save you. It is the mystery we cannot solve. But we can do something. We can start realizing how virtual our own expectations are. We can start thinking that we are flawed, we want our flawed selves to be loved and that is what we must offer in return.

True love doesn't bind, it frees you. It doesn't condition you, it empowers you. It doesn't hurt you, it protects you. It's something most people will die without. But if you move out of your virtual expectations, maybe you have a chance.

I think I've seen it but I'm a ruthless person sometimes, so I've decided to try to be the selfless me to the wonderful selfless people in my life.

This is a prequel to my possible next venture. My book. Sign up in the popup to receive the draft free. Best of luck with true love.

Fire & Ice

Once again this one's for my darling friend whom I hold in high esteem. I'm sad lately, that you must not tell me what bothers you, I feel your cold shoulder against me, now that I have turned warm, it is hard to withstand it.

We were the children of two varied dilemmas,
One too hot to stop burning,
The other too hard to care,
We met and felt each other for the first time,
I didn't know how warm one could feel until then,
And you hadn't seen how desolate one could get;

You rejoiced in the new found company,
Teasing me with your burning desire in quest of finding the saturation point,
The quest didn't end,
And you left impatient like the fiery Aries,
You forgot something,
The frozen lake is not all frozen,
So I shrunk back into the deserted land,
Where I searched for fire everywhere,
Knowing well within that it had left.

I still bear a scar that hasn't hardened,
The place where ice and fire had touched,
It reminds me of the worlds we haven't seen,
It reminds me of a friend I lost,
It reminds me that if I weren't ice,
I could have just held your hand
But I were that could kill your flame;

On Mars I hear the light rules,
On Pluto we feast on the dark snow,
I wish I could see him again,
And feel the scars all over again,
It is our untold story,
For we were Ice & Fire