The father - A tormented soul

Had it been a better day, had I not lost my job, had I made a better bet at money, had I been a better son..........I might not have known what I am now.....

The tension freezes me,
The thumb twitches,
The doctors are crowding all over,
My wife is laid back in those white sheets,
She's suffering so hard,
I've so many times said it's not worth it,
That she was more than anything else;
And to face her today,
where I had nothing save the hospital bill money,
Treachery!Life is so unjust
And now I'm scared,
Every passing moment I ask
      "doctor will she make it?"
And the morose just treads away
Leaving me guilty of my deeds!
My hands are cold......
I can feel my self no more,
I cannot but lose the only thing left,
My love, my wife......
I am running,
 Through the spirited corridors,
I must tell my wife,
Assure her,
How things will be fine only with her living
And nothing was more important......
She was my angel after all!
I just rushed through the door.....!!!!
'wooff!' there she is ....
All shrivelled up, panting and sweating,
I had heard her cry
But more pain I will not let her take,
I will not......
But then........something so weird happened,
I almost feel selfish,
along with the moron I am,
Look at that life,
breathing.......small leaf like fingers and eyes that look up to me
So much , so severely it says how I made my folly
By taking her into my arms,
I could not but stop myself......
I looked up, my wife smiling at me.....she was okay?
After all this?Why do women want to be like men?.......
they are so much better and I hate to accept it- I am not as strong as her!
But i'll be........for the life that thrives in my arms....,
It looks into my eyes with so much faith,
I cannot break it-my heart pounds......
It's not bliss of being father,
for I'm not unless I can full fill all I must as a father-but I will,
My wife's not crying anymore
But my child is smiling with every salt water drop that she drinks,
Yess!I am the one-crying,
Now I know what it is to be a man,
Not like before this moment,
When I thought doing 'manly' things made me a man,
Look at what I have.....bliss beyond expression,
I am the luckiest man on earth,
To this angel I promise........
I have not seen anything better before,
Not been a part of life so intensely,
Never felt more important,
And I will slog each day,
To keep your smile on those delicate lips,
And dare anyone tried to hurt you,
He's dead!!!!!!
I cannot but say how this day is my best day!!!!!How I just cannot say but it is for certain!!!!

-The story of a Man.....