Deny

Upon the clouds of faith,
On a distant trail of care,
I see the lining fading by
Into the darkness great;

Yet again the stumbling heart,
Has fallen apart,
For it is lame again,
And must hit the mettle hard;


As those slumberous eyes,  
Do droop in heaviness,
Alight i see my hero on the
Twinkling stars of night;

Tonight i stole the whispering wind,
The dainty moon and it's wife,
I have a secret tonight i see,
The hero knows no more;

Wide White the lacy curtains
reaching out to the sky,
And THUD lands the galloping horse
It's dark shone against the white;

Yet again the horse has come
To take me alight,
And yet again tonight
The emptiness replies;
My hero has come today
To greet me onto the stallion,
But thereafter he sits
On the window-sill
Staring into the dark;

A mystic air filling my breadth
A purity in the wind,
So pure it not feel'th before
As if my unicorn's here!
At a distance i see
A wonder white,
Shining like silver light
Thudding it's hoof as if to say
It's ready for the flight;

The last glimpse
On the hero so sombre,
And his radiating fear,
The world he had to save
Such daring works were not to be denied;

A small curl takes my lip
Onto my silvery Madera i sit,
Into the new world i step
As if alone was my only plight;
And there the lights were all lit
A quite emptiness echoing my heart beat,
Onto the dance floor i had stepped
No turning back was benign;
Among the crowd i had walked
Space-less  mundanes i had met,
Among them one with a handsome face-cut
Has ushered me here,upon the stage;
Yet i see i say him mundane
Where is the eye that saw all same.......

A sumptuous baffling among the crowd
And gently parting my partner's arm
An ivory rod on the Man's arm i see,
Scanning through the dark shoes
I had almost guessed before i saw
But yet to clarify my doubt i did see his earnest face;
The Hero i saw right in front
After the dark deeds
had been undone,
Here upon the spotlight jazz,
We made the music come to live!

Drooling in the midnight dream
A rose thorn bled my hand
And yet when i woke up to it
There was a silent smile ;) ;

human futility3

the mom's role-inevitable isn't it?.........but hey!some apology........i really think it'll take lil more time to come to this for it's the best topic to write on :u agree?.....now I'll just put up a show/fight which is kind of dedicated to one of my friends.It will surely be of great interests to youngsters......for they r the ones bubbling with confidence that they will find some1 for themselves and are not weathered away by the storm of marriage!Oh!yes....my server still doesn't comply with it , it still says 'warning signal'!~
Doesn't mean I've seen bad marriages instead it's the other way........and so i' say if u feel Ur weary of life and too lazy to do something new only then marry cause all the missing spice will no more matter once the whole food is burnt :D :D ............kudos to all bachelors and spinsters live it up b4 marriage!That does not mean i support affairs~and all the SMARTIES(i always kind of am remembered about u) don't think of fun in any other way neither do i support being characterless/still any doubts?

don't be crazy i wasn't clicking when they were fighting!

So today it's the LOVER'S day-on my script i.e.

'I Long Ur love,Ur care,
My mind it holds some distant belief
That a reason be for Ur ignorance
Yet Ur mind still doesn't unfold
The endless secret it beholds
Slowly my mind wins over my mind
and slowly my friends seem more right than me.......
......say it say it say it i beg,tell me that it is a lie!'

It's pretty obvious that i approach breakups here.But as much as i have known that these relations can be most devastating and ruining not to ignore the fact they have also created and discovered the good in humans.

Not Ivira this time......i purposefully use the real name. Sarah!
Let's turn the camera to her family...... a blessed pair as her parents, a compassionate brother(elder) and working and last but not the least Ivan(not yet legal family) was her heartbeat.Her life centred around him, her family and academics.I tell you she's one of the beaming students setting up her life in a well known institution(and if u wish to know her more personally let me know ;) ) , her brother taken up a job with a leading  brand NIKE.Everything's set isn't it?..........
a lil history[like did i just tell u Sarah was pursuing engineering following the footsteps of her brother.What the hell was her brother doing in NIKE?Well obviously designing shoes for $10 and selling it to us at $100!Leave him alone why u bothered about her bro?it's not his slot! ]


And here comes Mr.Ivan and Ms. Sarah.Heard of the Yule ball(HP fan?)...never mind just any ball.They hit the coll with fire bolt!I mean they were the sweetest of couples one could get to see without a ticket to the show!With those perfect Tits and Bits , perfect 'rothna manana' and the perfect dude and chick thing.Happening lot they belonged to........No in our wildest of dreams they couldn't split.Ivira and I are great friends to her.......basically Ivira believes in being single for i told u she has a motto and I-y would i take up some space again?......


There was something that smoked this whole thing.but we didn't have any clue.We could only smell it some days before the final destination.I solemnly swear it will take me months to start mourning on it for Sarah and Ivan come together even in our thoughts.Ivira has always been apprehensive of any relation even this one.I was neutral and Sarah?(this wl be dumb if i wrote it)if u don't, ask the SMARTIES-they r a cool gang!;)
Eventually days back we were aware of a recent crush of Sarah and believe me he topped my list too except Daniel of course.They were mutually attracted(nothing great these days in the most decent places in America,i say) and what else ?They got chatting!Nothing was hidden from Ivan.Now it must be getting dull........first their intro->
Ivan was the Shy,intelligent boy.....always in hep jeans , gelled hair,elegant spectacles(I'd prefer contact lens) and the heart of the girls(i mean most)!And yes intelligence here has been co-related to marks,position blah blah.....which most people do!
Sarah an outspoken , extremely fashionable, relatively short.........in short lived life sort of girl.She still owes me a sorry for she patched up with him in school without our permission!Beyond that she is innocent.
Into the class walked in the hot couples(before time).....for they had lots to talk about in class, next came in the single boys.......for they had to take another look just to make sure if any feasibly interesting girl had skipped their eye just last day and lastly the single girls(they arrived late) and had the coolest of temperaments-undone assignments,untidy hair,late wake up and tyre puncture excuses[even if they were kicked out of the class they managed to find work because all the assignments were left out]!SMARTIES have a ques?What the hell were they doing at home!.......nothing much 'sleeping'-'sweet slumber'//and hey!respect it that's my area :) ........could write a whole article will catch up with it surely.

And after all this u think they were a show up Jodi!No of course not.......seen Jodi breakers then u'll know exactly what i mean!-They were the simple kind.We got some study matters cleared up too with this guy-i mean Ivan.He's a darling i tell u.They made just each other look the better!.....and chemistry in spite of it being a spiteful subject at school i loved it here!......They went eating,shopping,studying,kidding and complimenting together.
I'll tell u once when we were all there.It was Sarah's bday!We four were at Sarah's place and i remember her waiting a whole hour for Ivan(who was desperately late) and we were like planning pyjama party save Sarah.In spite of our pleading with her she wouldn't cut the cake and was on diet that day.Only when Ivan was there she first exploded(v.common isn't it.....seen it in parents atleast?) then they hugged and all over!OVER?[i would have brought the house down]!//////moments later Ivan and she cut the cake and we got something of the promising cake! >:( Bday gifts i forgot to specify.Where we were busy spending pennies to get the awesome gift this lad had worked up her picture!He had painted her and since it wasn't as beautiful he kept trying so he got late,desperately late!.....Horribly good!A jewel we thought to ourselves!
Later after we left Ivan had called us to say she had fainted and that her parents were going to arrive in no time.We rushed back to accompany them and somehow managed her health or we owed an explaination!-good luck!
This is how it was no one failed their terms rather they outdid them!If u were an Indian author to 2 American friends u'd possibly say 'RAB NE BANA DI JODI'.....and yet nothing, nothing at all lasts forever!
A 6year relation just shattered into pieces.Why is still unknown.It just means even 007 isn't invincible!There was this unheard silence and then the storm.I must have said Ivan was Shy!It might have been something that troubled him like that 'got chatting' thing or ego or just maybe he'd found a better Sarah?We don't know all that concerns Ivira and me is this fishy bloke is no longer considered hero in our eyes!He lost Sarah and we lost respect for him all simultaneous.No matter what doesn't he atleast owe her an answer?Sarah is all broken and we r trying to get her fixed when she says "i not broken;don't try to fix me"........  :(

hold on!ur hand's slipping

On this treadmill i do run
faster, faster goes the push on
I slog through those rubberised paths
friction beating my new shoes
and yet i believe I'll meat my goal!
For this treadmill's mine and the sorrow's ours!
I'll wait till it's ready to
let me the bag of secrets!
I tried to run faster
but i just couldn't cross him over
So i decided to wait!
Endless wait, i say..........move on Sarah!A brighter sun awaits u.Embrace it before it's gone.
"i cannot she says",I feel girls are too girlish......Ivan was way ahead he had moved on.....not to return back again!HEY!WAIT DID I JUST SAY  HE WAS TOO SHY?....

-I do not wish to hurt the sentiments of any girl or boy!I have a story on the girl's part too!Not that all boys are bad neither r all girls good.But mostly in India the latter make more goals in maintaining relations :)

May be arranged marriages are our sole destinations what happens today is after breakup and what happened yesterday was without breakup!

human futility 2

Arrrrrgh!i started once again the 1st wasn't pain enough that i added another?.......aaaaah!take Ur time see guys that was just a summary of Ivira and her thoughts but here I'll delve deep into teh fact and bring about the truth with my fact.stunning yet real-take a long i promise I'll try to reduce the time-time's precious!oops!time's money :)
IVIRA no not again those moods?.........ah what do u expect ...........it's a continuation,part2!this time Ur not lucky she is indeed in those odd moods
now that the house seemed a little less lonely she felt comforted but the mood i tell u the major culprit still hovered around!those petty distinctions those argues those memories were they true does that mean that her parents weren't made to stay with each other or was she the only fine connection?if she was she'd hate herself.!

YES YES SHE WILL BURST IN THIS EPISODE AND U DON"T STRAIN UR EYES AGAIN LET ME GET TO THE POINT!

Her head was beating like 1000sands of N were hammering in it!And yet again on dinner table she was so awkwardly polite.NATIVE BEASTS i say who think expression is the best they have and don't use it in the utmost emergency. PILE PILE ......BOOM!No the climax is a bit far :P 2mins this time I'll keep it.
everything was silent ,eerie silent!The heavenly lady had taken her dip, "IVI darling anything wrong with you?"
-"no mom"-,native beast again!......When the ruler had moved miles (i.e. father) she asked again "what is it?go on now.......".
This was serious on almost all occasions she'd pour out her heart but now she was in dilemma for she knew everyone bore their share of fault.Nevertheless i mention as an author i really realise how she didn't think of her faults a bit!But truly she wasn't worth accusing this time.You must have got to the point.A mere incident of vocal threats in the couple had laid back Ivira's mood.
Things were solely out of control and getting sulky.The mundane shows on the disturbed TV were on but minds all elsewhere.The ruler denied dinner and on extreme requests gave into his hunger more than the requests!Now finally(did i mention it was the ruler's day-i mean bday?).......the sweet dish, looked paled out too was silently lying on the table not too eager to be eaten.This was doom's day i say-what happened was out of my mind!Ivira's state of mind of already waiting a flick and here there was a full blown fire!.......The ruler so subtle just fixed the plate's faith n the fridge!And here u go the climax
"Why  don't  u have it?"-Ivira
"I'll have it tomorrow"-typical male chauvinist trying to answer it without needing to trace to the ques 's ans.
"y?Just because my sweet mum took the trouble of making this on Ur day?"-The point which had to be made!
Differences vast gaps had to be made up for.......a roaring flame can die down once it burns completely!
There was this rapid fire round and all that the ruler did was bowed his head down not accepting his fault but giving time to Ivira to die down with her anger.So Surprising...........BELIEVE ME this was the first time she said (late of course) She loved him-and how much he did love her was beyond the limit of her thought.!Seriously only love could make the lion lay down his head-it was commendable.
The darling lady had very little to participate as the sparks were too bright for her but they died down with time.Then the rain part!water cycle-Tears.Have u seen a man crying?if u haven't then he doesn't love u!AH!i haven't and Ivira said this to me too.Offended i was and still am.
U believe i don't they hugged tight and cried their soles out!Indeed the Ivira princess had broken the eerie silence by her 'SORRY'!-and when she said "i'm sorry dad i was just broken apart with what u guys did and what u taught me, i only wanted to stand for the right".DAD i think was the magical word-remember we learnt 3magical words in school?-sorry,please,thank you!This one i add.And the more delving deep thing is her dad said 'this matter is beyond right and wrong!it's our mistake we never realised our dear daughter was so agitated but then it's true this is something that i /any1 cannot make u understand".OH!as if it were more difficult than rocket science:P   ........ nevertheless Ivira and i still discuss on it but owing to the truth we earnestly believe that everything can be measured on the right wrong scale!  :D :D   -fruitless fights :P

human futility1

Living life might be like breaking boulders to pave way in mountains! But there's just one thing that will save you the effort  rather i should say worth it.Yes u guessed it 'RELATIONS'!
When the bitter ice cold winds will break our bones there is just one word ('son!/daughter') which will force you to say 'what's up dad/mom?need some help i'm right here all there for you' silently wiping that tiny drop that slipped out.When something's bothering that mind of yours, getting on your nerves yet that shy you keeps secrets!Here you go...... a small hug and the thing is done you will blabber out the day's hardships.All that you couldn't till now.As if the butter just melt in the microwave!;) There's some heat in that thing some thing which is inexplicable (for i prove newton wrong as energy is supposed to be conserved!).On the other side if you've just had a strike your already in tears trying very hard to disagree with every single word and it gets all the more difficult!  

you should obviously be thinking of sights and scenes beyond my thoughts and it's my soul responsibility to stop you of this devastating end.This whole thing only revolves around a sacrifice for the family though
of course I  have no objections if throughout you want to feel such for your better half.........'better half' I will go into that controversy some other day!


I will merely share an experience which will make things clearer for those who r still unaware of this special fruit we bear which is priceless but has a limitation- it's lifespan!Of course some dashing bros have already thought this is an usual bluff an author uses.SMART ONES!in that case just change the underwritten gender smartly as u read on! :)
Ivira was still in those odd moods.Recently a lot of things had unwound the way she'd not like them to.It was too upsetting and she would have burst if only she could.She winked to herself trying to figure out her few lost kilos figure on the mirror just to clear up the messes.In vein! She was going mad and she had to hold it.Any catalyst and she would react.

slowly sleep walked in

She was facing realities some she knew but refused to believe.The resent ones had strewed up her sleeves and they were just to come alive like water gushing out of some vent in the so commonly seen municipal pipes!Wrapping herself tight in the white spreads , her fists holding tight every inch of it, she forcibly shut her eyes closed the gateway to her tears and tried some sleep.Unconsciously  she left the place into a whole new world where she felt she belonged more. But HO!why was this dark again?Her footsteps following those unheard voices while she consciously tried to revert her steps.Half sliding the door open she saw those 2 dark figures against that bring sun making gestures  that clearly stated they weren't happy.Like devil had taken over them and she the helpless being stayed witness to all.There wasn't much to say but that things were complex enough and that things weren't like she thought 'right & wrong'.She felt that despair in her heart that bore a hole so deep it almost killed her......and the sudden 'THUD'. 'OUCH' she screamed , she had fallen over.She woke up rubbing her eyes not feeling the physical pain much .......... somewhere those feelings were returning again and again!Today she had to stay alone, awake and be a TV mate.There was enough time for her to enjoy loneliness and yet today she would have given anything to have just one moment with her parents.How about ringing them?ha?How could she........she was upset with them.And the lamest feeling that caused her to fear the reality ,she challenged it! 




SHE was always the type invincible never succumb to the omnipotent.If you'd see her she'd be on your mind(like omnipresent) a week or 2!



You must be feeling what a devil she was!Indeed I bet I'd agree unless of course you've seen the other part.She was an epitome of truth,honesty,justice.Oh so all women are-here comes the SMARTYS again!Of course all women!
1) Firstly I'd be offended if you call this one a woman as she's a girl or a lady at most.
2)Secondly she was not just after her friends and bfs bossing away it was more in her little life and she actually started with herself.......she was almost perfect and definitely preached what she practised!What fatal madness had taken over her was simply because some injustice had been met out by mere humans and believe it the fault  lied on both sides.Thoughtfully she stirred her hot soup and eventually her soup stick was whether away and her finger sensed the heat ringing her back to the world.She decides to keep this little mystery a secret unless she's ready to say it.........and what right do i have to unfold so.But my inquisitive readers I can share with u the other side of the mirror.Let's see the refracted light's behaviour!

Ivira the hard core devil never believed in love,marriage.She thought all men were born flirts and women either angel/bitch!Beyond this outer she was something more.She never believed in things that she actually felt more than maybe anyone even u!She had a life which she lead not with her conditions rather i should say she was 'the oblivion part' in her own life.She breathed every breath in the name of a bond.She loved her parents and her sister immensely so much that she couldn't think of their end but solemnly pledged her life into any little errand that they may have wished.In return she was luckier than Cinderella she had the perfect family!They loved her back like anything.It was a difficult relation if u were to see it from my point.
for eg.She stand in front of a wonderful dress and glares at it, the moment her mother approaches her she flees for the escalator ! u guessed it the Bday gift it will make to her wardrobe.Surreal isn't it?She has a secret a pledge she bears deep within ......... i too know nothing of it but my friend i feel it must have somewhere some relation with her parents.She lives not her life.......it's a bargained life. Only human can be so unreasonable and the SMARTYS call it 'futile' and i 'human futility'!The last drop of soup she struggled with and goes on her just life and i adore her for being so perfect and in front i feel so little, so lame and so cowardly.