The Billion $ Painting

He strolled around the lazy corridors,
And pondered on the last strokes,
His brush had dried of the red paint it last dipped,
The colour so favorite to her taste,
His eyes were dry,
His senses unreclaimed,
The breeze bristled on his still dark hair,
And his chiselled features shone against the drowning sun;

A certain knock had caught his parrot's attention,
And it creaked it's swing unless Arun noticed,
He skimmed through the old wooden floors,
Trying hard not to be heard,
And skillfully tapped the eye hole open,
To note the reason of distraction caused;

Stood outside a short bearded man,
With a plain tweed jacket,
And a pipe in his arm,
The kind he remember her dad used to have,
The kind he'd kept beside his bed,
Sliding the door a 2inch gap,
His humble voice rang through the lonely air,
"What do you seek in this despair?
These doors hath visitors none for centuries in air
And rightly so, they must be spared"
Much awaited by the lonely corridors,
The voice was like a light in the dark,
The corridors seemed to come alive,
A moment it took them to revive,
Arthur ignoring all the sign;

"I am a visitor you mustn't refuse,
I am the lover of art and fine,
I bring to you a price to keep,
Show me the wonder the world keeps whispering around,
And I shall lay you wealth much profound", said the visitor.

He dragged his right limb backward,
And swung open the creaking door,
Much after centuries it had been this way,
And foreign shoes entered the halls,
Foreign eyes looked eagerly around,
Much like the first time when dainty blue eyes had stepped in,
Looking for a teacher to teach her a skill to earn,
And the hunger was so great,
The greatest of all art had granted her his learning indeed;

A soft curl filled Arun's lips,
And his cheeks flushed of red,
While he scampered to his little den,
To unfold the mysterious painting;

Behind the sheets of dust,
Laid a gorgeous portrait of a real life lady, as if monalisa had been painted twice,
With a hint of subtle innocence and anger merging into one,
The pale blue cloudy skies behind passed a hint of darkness that contrasted the lady's smile,
The brush had done magic,
And every word of the hushed rumor was true;

"I am pleased and more, I must say it is worth much more, I shall not fear to negotiate for your sake", said the stranger.

Arun said, " I am overjoyed to see you appreciate the art behind my brush, like every other human who has walked through this door and that is why I brought you in. However, it's best I reveal, this art is not to sell, it is but for the eye to see and that is where it stays"

Arun's face was as stern as ever,
His limbs were weak but he seemed stronger when he said these words,
The stranger must have taken him to be much stronger for he retaliated with a logical quote;

"I must have offered you much less, that be said, I shall offer you your say, give me a quote and I shall have this to take"

Arun repeated his words and the stranger turned pale for it was his first acquaintance where he failed. His first meeting that broke his theory of the weaklings human race were. He stepped back and watched Arun turn from a smiling face to numb as the sheets went down, he adored the art more than just that, he looked at it like it were real.

The stranger then asked, "Curious as I am, is this part of your past, present or future?"

"It is but priceless, it is all I have to live by"

The stranger left. The story was never told, it remained witnessed and buried within the walls of the creaky floors. If only the hushed rumors knew, what money couldn't buy, they'd have lived a much happier life.

-Arun's diary

(This is a continuation of Arun's tale, these shall only give glimpses of his life, not the full novel).

The family

"We need you to do something. You chose the sweet way or the other. Although, from what I know of you, you love the torment", he smirked.
I stared through the dusty iron bars of Tuskan jail. David's two beady green mean eyes had grown into a monster. I couldn't believe I had missed that in high school. After 10 years, life seemed like on the evil twist of faith where everything bad happened and paused and everything bad just repeated.

I could either stare through the bars or at the mirror. I chose the bar because last time I tried the mirror I saw the horror in my eyes, 2 beady mean green eyes and I knew that was the only way. What options do you have with your family as hostage? Tearing down everybody else's mother seems less horrifying....and yet that's not what she taught you to be.

"What's it gonna be Diana, love?", he smirked.

A tear escaped the right corner of my eye and tried mid way. The battle had begun, the monster had chosen. My worst fears were actually before me and it was time I decided to embrace the devils within.

----------------------------------

Here's the start to a literary fiction. You'll see the link once it's up.

The City Coffee Life

I watch the small cars swamp by from across my coffee table,
Where my hot latte goes cold,
And I sit by myself and stare at the mundane streets,
Yes, it's not a hell of a deal,
That's a normal city day life.....

I haven't brought my laptop today,
I promised to tell you about the others around,
So that's what I am doing,
Looking around and watching them chat & share,
And noting the weirdly familiar things today;

The couple across the room,
Both of them have dressed very similar,
Jeans & plain t-shirts,
Nothing cheesy about them,
They don't even seem to be in love,
Except when you hear them speak,
Each of them belong to a different native town in India,
That means their native tongue is different,
But when they are working together,
You can see their eyes sparkle with joy,
As if they were on a thrilling journey,
And language was not a bar;

I see the little boy outside,
With a begging can in his hand,
A poet like dressed guy gets up,
And waves to the boy outside,
He sits him by his side and gets him some food,
And watches him eat with ecstatic joy,
I think he works for MAD, he wears the t-shirt,
It's a foundation here, educating the not so resourceful;
I give some more time to him,
I'm crushing on him already.....but nothing more here

There's a geeky guy sitting on the next table,
I checked for his charger last time,
He was kind enough to pass it to me,
Only he didn't ask my name, sad,
And suddenly I saw the guy get all chatty with a bunch of guys around,
It seemed like they just met,
And spoke and started a business plan right away,
Wow, such amazing stuff here;

I reach out to my laptop,
Type in a words,
I hope to finish this novel someday,
But for today,
Here's what I got you,
A typical city coffee day;

You know what pulls a crowd here?
"My dad bought me a ferrari"....no, not that,
"I'm building this alarm to alert an hour before a heart attack"....yes, this does!

Yes, I accept a little bit of isolation comes by,
I accept I get to be a little irresponsible at times too,
I accept life alone isn't as fun (you'd think),
I accept it's difficult to get by in a new city,
I also accept things get busy & lonely at times,
But the best parts are the freedom of not being judged,
How many places do you see life being stringed into such beautiful dreams every moment?
How many times have you seen couples mate over startup dreams?
How many coffee shops do you see with buzzing new ideas to save the world?
How many MADsters do you see?
How many times have you seen me not being judged for walking into the coffee shop all alone, freakishly enjoying it and not a word about that?
I can barely count the number of times people don't get judged,
But right here, in this city, I find that,
My peace of mind, my dreams & a world where you are less than just what was set for standards,
So I can finish my coffee, pay my bill and walk out feeling relaxed & safe,
That's the city coffee life,
And I think I fall in love with it every day!

A Daughter's World in her Father's Eye (Part 2)

Another blockbuster! Only because thus means the world to me. I'm sure many more daughters related to me.

To the lovely dads who have treated their daughters so well.....respect and love.

This was another of those mundane days. You already know of the 15 day vacation I get to spend with my family at home. Rest of the time, I'm slogging in my 2nd dream job. Oh, yes, I enjoy it. However, it's a little incomplete with my little cozy family not here.

On the recent vacations, while we packed my father's luggage, he whispered softly, "What do you write, you don't share?". He's read my professional blogs and always followed then but this was different. My father was asking me about my literary write ups and this was new. He reads a few of blogs which being romantic in nature, I sometimes feel a little awkward....but guess what, my parents have advanced way more than the image in my mind. Their acceptability surprises me.

My father is conservative in certain way. We've had a love hate relationship, we're both strong headed and pretty much share the stubborn gene. So, literally, the arguments fire hard.....my mother helping in subsiding it. Now that you know that don't you think you could come to me and say anything negative to me about my dad.....only I can say that & I love him to bits, so you better tread carefully.

And then he said, " I don't have to worry. You don't when you gave such gems for daughters". Our ever long battle to get them to live close to us is probably weighing them down but we'd like to see them so much more often, we'd like to know they are safe.

When he asked about my writing, I smiled....not just literally, in my mind too. As mentioned earlier, I grew up in a moderately strict family but not very open and fair in many ways. That's made me a strong, head strong lady. Too much for men? Huh.....not if you're a man. And I know that from my dad.

This is my dad who's supported me on the stupid rocket competitions I've been to, my constant inspiration, the one who actually understood my dreams and respected them instead of wanting his own fulfilled.....love is unselfish, I think they've taught me that.

All my work will always be dedicated to you lovely people who made life and its value so high. Thank you for being the inspiration in all my life.

How many of you could stand up and shout out your family would support you no matter what? I could.....now you know where my strength comes from. It's eternal and I'm keeping it.

To all the dads out there....love your daughters and you'll know no love as that. Love them because they need your validation, they need your strength, they need you to understand how men should be, how they need to be treated. In return, you will have a companion for a lifetime and you'll see love in a different way everyday. To all the women out there, it's not a son's responsibility to look after their parents. Be the son, leave the society. Believe what makes sense to you. It is your responsibility to change the picture. Your parents are not just your responsibility, they are your support system. Help them a little, they'll love you either ways....just give it a little time and you'll see what life has to offer.

The Talk

In spite of this heading being an abstract 2 word, it has been made famous in a different way in movies, books etc. This is exactly what we're dealing with next.

A part of me is dimming away,
It's being amputed yet again,
Reason?
I wish, you'd asked,
But since you didn't,
I'm looking forward to tell you.

I have this uncanny habit of letting myself swim out of the grey areas to a certain black or white,
Sometimes even at the cost of more blacks,
Like last time,
I think it'll teach me a lesson or two,
Pain does that to us,
Sweet pain breaks us and makes us,
In a way nothing else can.

So let's begin, where we never left off,
Let's begin and end right now,
Because the music is no longer sweet to the end,
The car is closing in on me,
I'd rather breathe within or beyond,
But the greyness, that must go;

And you'll have a fair choice,
To take or leave,
For I believe in living, thriving human beings.

Arun (part 1)

He stood there before the line. Nothing could stop him from crossing and yet this was his whole life crushed into one moment. The past came rushing to him and hit like fresh wounds again, gaping holes unleashed the wounds again. He looked back at the present, the small world he would now stake for that painful past filled with uncertainty, betrayal, lust and possibly more pain.

He imagined his sweet wife waiting at the small hut door, praying to the good lord, conducting pujas for his wellbeing and fast return. He thought of how she would defend his honour in his absence. And of all things, she might have to cross the bars of the house and work at the nearby post office to feed Arun junior - their lovely child. He raised his hand to wipe a tear drop on his cheek and disgust filled him. The sky's were watering, not his eye, not a drop escaped him. He wondered how so many years had done nothing to him? How one bit of the past could ruin him but the loving present couldn't. He had many years back realised it was in his nature to run for what he couldn't have with ease, he thought maybe that were human nature.

He worked hard on his mind to keep it here, to feel pain, to remember that one moment when he deeply, truly loved this life, any part of it. Finally, he gives in to the natural thoughts.

Diana's curls fill his mind, the watery eyes, the wavering hair, the beautiful figure seated in a Ferrari V6. His was a poor ragged guy just out of college with his little saving from the coffee shop he worked at. Rosewood gave him a reason to stay. A young guy he was, unable to restrict his virtual behaviour. A tall fair guy gets in the car and laughs at her, says a few things and positions to drive away. Arun quickly walks up to the man and congratulates him for his fiancé. The guys bursts out laughing, slut shaming the girl while he showed him some notes. A shocked Arun restlessly said, "How much, leave her to me man".

The guy was equally surprised. It was clear Arun couldn't afford her. However he got double his pay and finally settled a deal. This was Diana, his only love. How? He hadn't known....lust could end up in love. He too wanted the same things the man before wanted. The only difference was he paid off his savings for her, in fact he wanted to save her one time, maybe because it made him feel good or maybe there was more.

And may be can sometimes end in a mess, his painful past....something he never spoke about, something that went down the grave with his diary, something that will take him back to where it all started. Rosewood was calling, the town he hated and loved just so much!

P.S. Part 2 will unfold Diana's story. Comment below to mention your thoughts and how you think about it!

The relentless ramble (part1)

Going for long drives,
May sound familiar to you,
Not me with you,
You were out there,
All smiles doing me a favour,
Never asking for anything in return,
Being the selfless person,
You can only dream of,
There you are like a ray of hope,
Into an unwanted woman's life;

You know it all,
How to treat a lady,
How to be a friend,
How to let trust seep in,
And yet you stay,
Unlike most other men,
Who would seek competition,
Who might want to have Miranda Kerr instead;

All of this with a little curve up your lips,
I think I fall for it everytime,
Even though I am trying to resist,
After years I think you make me feel,
That you may not leave,
But the scars are deep,
And love hidden much within,
I'm hoping you wouldn't leave,
Because I'd be okay with that,
But Never too well though,
That's the problem with hope,
Once you have it,
You cannot part,
Once you are loved,
One can't be unloved,
Once you stay,
It feels like eternity,
And each time I am jolted out of the horrible dream,
Whispering in my ears how things go crashing down and how I must weep.

And where should I stop,
The fact that you have many an accolade,
Solely dedicated to the purpose of human welfare,
So thorough a gentleman you make,
I am surprised you even exist today,
And I were so lucky to have your acquaintance;

Yes, the world seems to love me,
They can cross their hearts for it,
But ask them this,
Where do I find solace in,
Would they know,
You might think that is easy,
But believe me,
I've known the virtual world much too long,
It promises without the essence,
It cares not too much of 'care',
It moves on like a hopeless kid,
And I find the purpose of their lives undone, unearthed,
I wish I could help,
But one must start with one self;

Oh should I listen to the beat again,
The foolish heart that skips it again,
I can hear its tattered sound,
For long it hasn't been sound,
It's waited way too long,
And time has torn it down,
It no longer chimes like youth would have it tried,
It waits still in a cage within,
That's the thing with hope,
Once you have it,
You cannot part;

I ramble away like a lunatic,
You may pass away like any other time,
I wouldn't notice,
I promise....

The Old Love

This is something we all hate. The power lost love can have on us. How vulnerable we get. If it were bad, you can move on. If it wasn't bad, you remain suspended in a bubble of memory lane. Strangely, nothing jolts you back to reality.

If I look back,
It's been 5 years,
Yes, 5 long years,
Half of it, I tried to wrap my head around what was happening,
The rest I tried all things to hate you, then love you, then just be a stoic,
But when it comes to love that felt so real,
You have to agree,
It's a part of you,
A part that goes down to the grave.

The regret lies in the lies,
The lies I said to myself,
The lies you would have told yourself,
The lies our eyes said to one another,
And the lies we will tell one another,
If we do bump into each other,
How wonderful our lives are apart and forgotten,
While deep within we'll always agree,
What we had was real,
How bad can you fake it,
I can't believe to this level,
Or maybe I don't want to,
I'll go with the sixth sense,
Because that's all that helps me live,
Helps me think there's good,
However small that may be.

I sometimes got so jumpy,
I almost spoke my mind,
I didn't though,
And I regret that,
Lost the time that was ours,
It isin't the biggest of regrets,
Because saying it wasn't me,
And I think we knew that always,
However, I'd always like to tell you,
How I never wanted to hurt you,
That I was always trusting of you,
That I never left,
And never will,
And I will possibly never have the courage to say it ever again,
But then again I do surprise myself sometimes,
Getting jittery all after 5 years is a surprise I believe.

The lost love

Have you had the feeling of shackles pulling onto your feet when the new light is trying to touch upon you? The darkness that you have loved for so long becomes so much a part of you and you live it.

The light doesn't come in here,
It has been a few years since the shackles have been removed,
I am not chained,
But I sit exactly at the same place,
And I do not twitch for the freedom as you'd me to do.

The songs do not reach my ear,
The birds don't come so far,
Into the lost woods of decay,
It is a place for the maggots, worms and insects,
They encircle the cave around,
And make my ears susceptible to various sounds,
The feel of deep dark caves have become my air,
In it I breathe and move into more alienation,
Time is not what counts,
It is neverending-it doesn't even matter.

And I remember that when one time,
The sun had made up its mind,
To change the nocturnal world,
To feed us its rays,
It strived very hard,
The light I say,
Tried terrible measures,
Often put back by the inability to rule the dark gods,
And I was an object of interest in the fight;

Human nature was little known for instability,
It's urge to enter the deemed free world may have made the sun feel superior,
How was it to know,
The dark gods don't enslave you,
You become them,
What you fear,
And you fear yourself,
So much that you'd be a part of the crime,
Than defend yourself,
The dark eats you whole,
But leaves a part of you alive and more wanting,
This part wants more of the darkness,
It sees in the dark,
Feeds on it,
And defends it,
Beyond the logic and that is where I sit;

Shackles are what I had,
Now it is natural,
For so many years,
This is me and I accept me.

I did try to escape,
Everyone does,
But spared is no one,
In the world outside,
There is love, security and freedom,
But we all come back with hunger for the deepest darks,
The pure oxygen outside makes our lungs creak,
We must rock the dark rocks,
And play with the worms,
To satisfy our insatiable hunger;

And so I am sorry,
To the sun and moon and every human out there,
You've tried,
Maybe not enough sometimes,
But a lot,
And I want you to know I appreciate that more humanly than possible for me,
I sat here that day,
Trying to hold on the your hands,
Thinking the light can do me good,
The love could cure the hungry souls within,
And then I felt my shackles around my legs,
They felt more real than the first time,
I still tried to break through them,
I know it was hard for you to come for me,
Risking being a part of this place,
I want you to know I tried,
But as I said,
The darkness was us,
It wasn't a part of us anymore,
The only way I could survive the blinding torche,
Was by making you a part of us,
And that I would not wish,
So I had to let the shackles become part of it again,
So I stayed back,
You wouldn't understand,
But that's the idea always :)

Did I say- I wanted you to try harder,
May be there is a way after all!

The Master & his Slave

He watched the angry sea waters lash at him,
He felt the grains of sand seep in and out of his feet,
And felt the thrill like a child

From the corner of his eye,
When he noticed his Slave standing close by,
His face tensed and eyebrows knitted tight,
With a grim face, he commanded, "Stop Mighty Sea",
The waters came roaring back,
In revolt, reminding the lost king of his loss...

He fell on his knees,
And his body crooked,
He weeped a little,
And calmed his pain he thought;

The loss was draining him,
He was no king anymore,
But a king is a king always he thought,
Then what is he now,
Without the masses of followers,
With just one slave left,
He must be king to her he thought,
Until the pain kills him anyways;

He roared like a threatened lion,
At the only slave who had followed him to his grave,
She lowered down and bowed to him,
Just like it were the palace grounds,
His alter ego felt obliged,
But he kept his king face stern,
A king must always be a king he thought,
The lie was doing him no good;

He then said to her, "I have no money left you know, why did you follow into this doom?"
He looked at her for the first time so close,
She had a young pretty face,
Harsh with the sun,
Tired with the labour,
Bruised by the torture,
In the moon light, it glowed a little,
And it carried what grace might be ashamed to admit its worth,
She smiled a little and bowed half down,
And from an empty stomach,
She said, "You are my king, I have known nothing more"

He smiled inside,
Many more times than he had ever on the throne,
He looked at the water and thought to himself,
This will be journey,
Sometime to go around my Kingdom,
With a queen worth having;

He walked to her,
So close, he thought she would flinch,
She didn’t,
He looked at her eyes and lost some moments count,
He embraced her tight,
The king got lost somewhere in between,
He never needed it again;

The Game: 'Table Tennis'

Here is a game I didn't love. I had no reason to fall for it anytime soon. I like the sun, the trees, the wind in the air and I like the legs moving around, so no this was not my game. And yet it became a part of me, more compellingly than I could ever imagine....when something happened.

The game interested me the day I met someone. I hated the fact that it could have influenced me so highly and I have lived in a dream longer than I can remember. I didn't ask for it, I never do. You stood right there unless I felt guilty of my ignorance, inhuman in my own rights, until I turned around. You still didn't flinch. I was too convinced you'd never leave.....but just about when your insatiable hunger was fed, you fled. So rapid that I could hardly consider it human.
I stood there with an unbearable urge to learn a game from you and myself. It took me through the troughs of love I never wanted to be haunted by. It took me so much time to face that table once again. The game had done me no harm but it reminded me of you. I still fall in love with the wrist bands you wore, with the words you spoke, with the game that was ours.
On a stronger day, I faced my fear, I walked up and decided to face the fact you won't be there and may be that was for the best. When you can't face small things, a life along would be rather pitiable. I don't hate you, I can't, rather I'd thank you. You gave me a sport I can rejoice in, this sport had given me a lot of great people.....mostly it had taught me to face it alone. A loner I was always, just a bit stronger now and it grows within me everyday.

The symbol of love

There she was,
Hanging daintily from the rock solid grave stone,
Looking over the grave,
Catching a glimpse of the sideway,
Caressing the wind from time to time,
When a man she heard weep,
Below her in a soft muffled voice;

"Why does not love me back mother?
Why isn't this we?
I am but the one left alone,
While you crumble under this tree"

He turned away from his mother's stone,
And she saw his eyes just once,
They were moist with tears of the male ego,
Silently hidden from the world around,
They were also very dark black,
Like the tunnel had no end,
The boy's grievance seemed petty to the loss he was sitting beside,
She winced at the misfortune life brings,
And thought to herself,
Maybe not being human was never a loss;

She twirled the wind,
And hastened the breeze,
The flowers on the mulberry tree,
Softly landed on the boy's face,
He smiled as they caressed him,
As he walked away,
And she smiled too;

As days passed,
He came again,
Everyday to the same place,
Talking his mind to the mindless breeze,
That nudged him to open up,
While she played the music in the wind,
To soothe his wounds,
And he playfully wishpered his miseries,
And longed to meet the girl he wished as his wife,
The birds chirped and leaves rustled,
He never heard her voice,
But she listened to all he wanted and wished he found them soon;

One day he said,
"I come here everyday,
I come here by choice,
There is some feeling of peace I feel here,
I feel rejoiced,
As if someone cares for me,
As if I am not alone,
I feel my soul is at peace,
I feel I am me,
And truly accepted for my being,
I love this place,
I know not why,
But u love it beyond repair";

She smiled to herself,
Satisfied with her silent caress,
Satisfied that the boy had been cherishing her  company,
Even though her presence was not identified,
She was scared,
A symbol cannot be live,
And that one time she thought,
Maybe she wished she the human,
With a melodious voice,
Who could sing her song,
Or write a letter,
But alas she was here,
Overlooking the grave,
And crying with the dead souls,
A song of trouble, misfortune and grave;

Destiny must be of immediate consequence,
That her hopes were doomed before they blossomed in her very bosom,
He walked in with a fair lady,
With a wedding ring on her finger,
He kissed her softly but passionately,
And brought her in front of the stone,
He told her tales of how he came here,
While she wasn't his,
She looked distant but nodded between the times of silence,
She looked pretty in the white gown,
And held his hand with a light grip,
To soothe a friend,
Like a passing phase,
Her heart broke to see them stand down,
In front of her they stood,
To take his mother's blessing,
And he sounded like a kid,
Happy that he had finally found the girl in his life,
Finally she thought of him as he did.
The wind twirled like before a storm,
The graves shook like before an earthquake,
The rain came thumping down,
As if it were on war with the ground,
Throwing granades at it,
It's turbulent flow easily gauged,
He slowly guided her in the shade of the stone,
The two of them huddled together to wait for the thunder to stop;

The symbol of love she was,
With a heart of endless volumes,
She slowly pulled the strings of faith,
Telling her friends,
To stop showing their dismay,
While the storm stopped rumbling,
The two walked away,
Into the desserts of their life,
A story lived here to be told sometime,
The only hope he gave was,
He would return everyday like he always did,
Because he found solace here,
Love here,
Which remained inexplicable,
But he felt wanted here,
So the symbol of love,
Waits for him,
To caress his hair,
To chide his insecurities,
To see him up close,
But maybe it was a dream,
He hadn't returned to the merry land,
He may have survived the wicked world,
Or it may have made him a part of it!

She thought to herself,
Feeling shy,
Feeling dejected,
For she fell in love with a silent vow,
And she knew somewhere it was insane,
But she loved him with her all,
And she swings in his thoughts even today,
Her soul is sad,
Touched by the curse of human emotions,
She feels the pain,
But cannot cry!

The Ignorant Modern Man & Woman

When you look at me,
You will be drawn to me,
For various reasons,
But you will not claim it publicly,
Because shallow is celebrated,
Depth is not,
References are encouraged,
Resonance is not,
And you will think I am distant,
I am and you can't deal with it....

I don't know you,
But I will get to know you more than you know yourself in sometime,
And that scares you too,
So I appreciate when you decide to stay,
Against your adrenaline flight,
I decide to trust you a little,
And there is a mutual understanding....

We share some time,
I am also comfortable to take your fries,
We are on the same page,
But I mentioned what a chaos I am,
You only laughed wildly,
Which I fell in love with,
But when it was time for you to face it,
You were startled!

You may have laughed,
You may have enjoyed the value proposition,
But beyond that was outside your imagination,
You were ready for the joy ride,
But not for the wild fire that will envelope you under moments of crisis,
You stood there not taking a stand,
Me feeling naked,
Stripped of my pride,
I am for this one reason ignorant to all humans,
Because I have learnt,
You speak promises but you can't keep them,
You want all the thrill, not the war,
You can't withstand the wind which I can for you,
You are a good weather man,
You are but dwindled into a half modern day man,
Capable of everything but intensity,
You thus cannot love with the depths,
You cannot free yourself to the world,
You remain ignorant to the true meanings of love,
And you have created a wall for the women who dared to love you!

So, I am ignorant,
Of all humans,
Most of them will fail in emotions,
How wrong can I be?
There will be some rare gems though,
Who will be otherwise,
And they are our only hope of manhood!

Scared

"It is hard to measure the depths of fear,
The roots, how far they could reach,
How they could impact your whole being" 

There are two ways of life,
Vulnerable OR Impenetrable,
I choose the second,
What do you?

While very little,
Things become clear,
It wasn't too much effort,
I learnt by observing,
Not necessarily by drowning,
So I was scared, very scared,
Of being vulnerable to the evil world;

Soon I found the bricks and mortar,
And started my journey to concealment,
Building up the walls carefully,
Tough enough to block the streaks of day light,
And perfecting it through time;
Holding on to the strings of least social connects,
And keeping your secrets to yourself,
Letting out in a small dark room under the night cover,
Walking with a low profile during the day,
And the world never reached you;

In the crevasses left,
Sometimes some insects do creep in,
You think the light found its way and play with it,
Until one day in the midst of the night it feeds on your blood and leaves,
So you plaster the remaining walls with wounded arms,
Master them so to keep them away;

It still doesn't help,
Sometime the cage is smaller than the mass of fear you have built within,
And if someone comes by just to knock in,
You scare it away!

No it's not fair,
But what is fair to the girl who has received none?
What is love to the girl who has learnt to earn her own food?

It becomes hardly feasible to distinguish between the insects and the light,
So eventually you don't look any further,
You scare away all that may come by,
And often within you realize, you are incapable of love,
Incapable of giving,
So you let them go whichever way they come,
Sometime not letting them know why,
It only costs a few more nights of demise!

And in the emptiness of fear,
Sometimes you succumb to it,
Scared but more scared to accept,
Least the insects know you are worth a dime;
So you make the walls thicker,
Best your cries don't reach the outside;
And your emotions are rock solid,
They have left you dry long time back,
You are a dead stone,
Void of the human turmoil,
And so earnestly when light visits you,
You kick the wall to tear it down,
But it's not easy to bring down what has been the essence of your existence!

You are almost always late,
To the parade of love,
Fighting the battles of vulnerability, experience and wise thoughts,
And the blood that spills from your palms in wild attempts to break the walls;

So we who chose the second form of life,
To be impenetrable are immune to your love,
We lose our momentum in trying to tear away the walls,
But we appreciate if you help us unwind the prejudices we built so long,
If you can prove to us manhood is not the unforgiving ruthless man,
If you can wait for us and let us believe in the meaning of true love,
The kind that stays on for a lifetime,
The kind that enriches you,
The kind that helps you grow!

Here is our sincere apology for the souls who came our way,
And we shut the door and cried behind the bars,
We can't help the reflexes that got built into us,
We know we are broken beyond repair,
Untouched but broken with hopelessness,
You can embark on a challenging journey,
In return we promise our eternal love, sacred and unscathed,
Unmoved by the winds of nature,
A love one of its kind,
Once in a lifetime!

Help us see the world we have never seen!


-With Love,
Priyaani


P.S. For all the women scared to love!

Inspiring Women-1: Amrita Sher-Gil

Why Inspiring Women?

'Inspiring Women' will be a series of most inspiring women and their great work in one place. This intends to bring forward a woman's contribution in a time which would often be mentioned as 'A Man's World'. It salutes their spirit and work.

It is my earnest request to you to share these posts as much as possible to increase awareness and inspire plenty other women there. You never know when someone's life may just turn around, when a single moment can be her 'Eureka'.

Please share in comments below/email me if you want some woman to be covered in this series.

P.S. This doesn't mean there aren't men worthy of appraisal. We may have a Man Series too, maybe future.

Who Is Amrita Sher-Gil?

Often known as 'Frida Kahlo', she was one of the most prominent woman painters of the 20th Century. She was also tagged as 'Most Expensive' woman painter of the time. To be precise, her 'Village Scene' painting sold for INR 6.9Cr In Delh Auction (V.High for India).  Her work was declared by GOI(Government of India) as National Art Treasures, mostly housed in National Gallery of Modern Art, New Delhi.

Personally I think she's so beautiful! The olden glory with a hint of Rekha-don't you think?

More Details- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amrita_Sher-Gil


In case you cannot see the paintings below-please wait for some time, you should see a loading circle sign. If not, refresh. Feel free to share, comment & like! Always, a sensitive little girl-Priyaani.

Paintings-Amrita Sher-Gil
Create your own infographics

P.S. All Images have been derived from various internet sources. The sole purpose of this is inspiration and awareness.

What A Woman Wants

Women have been considered to be a very complex creation. It is humorously referred to as a topic which would make huge books and yet not cover it wholely. Wrong, well to some extent at least. Here I will try to explain to you some small things that have caused me to ditch a possible date. I do believe there is scope of improvement on either side. I will also help you with a guideline which I feel can help you understand woman. Personally I feel there needs to be a manual. But since I don't have the time to pen that yet, we'll start with the blog.

How women communicate?

Strangely women find it difficult to understand men and vice versa. Yet, we can understand our BFF (of same gender mostly). That's probably because we fundamentally communicate very differently. Men use words while women use feelings. Men need trust and protection while women need respect and understanding of her mood swings. Refer to the book at the end,it explains the idea very well.
We appreciate a warm hug when we are troubled that says "I'm there for you no matter what". An eerie sudden hug is equally unappreciated. We act differently around people we genuinely like. You'd notice we care, sometimes not very obvious as that's awkward. And we blush, that's a no brainer ;) And we smile just a lot.

Top Downgraders for women-

1. Talking about too much sex/bodily pleasure etc.
-it's simple psychology. It reflects your attitude towards the relationship which hasn't started yet. It's a red sign for the long run as you're willing to do nothing but stick to the petty stuff like sex. If that excites you great but we are pretty sure that's not why either of us should like each other. There needs to be more substance unless you're looking for a fling etc.  And we generally aren't wasting time & feelings on that.

2. Not being sorry
This works on both ends. We all have ego issues. But with better maturity you must realize this is a small thing. Never let a sorry some between the 2 of you. But then a balance between frequency of sorry s can be good. Otherwise 1 partner will suffer from virtual compromise.

3. Being insensitive/otherwise
Be normal that's it. You're insensitiveness to an extent which is paranormal can only be of caution. While dating a vegan, if the person is too rigid he/she may hurt you by demanding justice for the food you eat. This is over sensitive. Now there's a tie :p

4. Me talks-attitude
Hell what do you think of yourself?  Have you seen Einstein talking bull shit? Well, now you know who you are. The lesser you talk about yourself, the better it reflects how many book you've read, how many people you met and in short your brain sanity. Grow up!

5. The perfect guy
I'm not sure if all girls would agree with me. But most women would. Your great muscles and perfect body may be appealing but is never enough. Not even your Brad Pitt face can make up. What makes you beautiful is a fallacy. Everyone has one/more but only few are aware of it. When you strive for greatness, courage, extraordinary-that is sexy. We are naturally attracted to you.

6. When parent talk freaks you
Okay. You wanna go out with me. Good. But the very mention of the reason I exist freaks you out. Red flag ladies....he's not thinking long term or he already has issues here. We'll appreciate if you speak up. We can help you sort it. But if you're not ready for parent talk....well grow up then. If not, it's better to part.

Here's a great book to read (open's up the mind):
'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray

P.S. -All places 'we' mean women as I am a woman. FYI.

Thanks for reading, if you liked it do share. Send me your thoughts in comments below.