Cold

I'm writing after a very long time. This time it wasn't lack of time, it was the lack of need to write. Things changed rapidly in my life and as scared as I am to accept it, I cared for someone enough to be scared to let go. I also did not during this time feel the need to pour myself here. However, now and then, I have been very anxious.....for in between is where I do the worst. I've known myself as cold and I'd always like to keep it that but this time makes me feel like it's a losing battle....and I can just sit through it trying my best.

For we are human,
And we must not bleed,
For if we so succumb,
Our enemies shall find our weakest link,
For we take the cover of the dark,
Other times we are cold;

Like ice we stay,
Untouched, unhindered, unreachable,
We stand as if the gentle breeze doesn't warm us,
As if human or animal,
We'd shred them to pieces,
For we were hungry,
And blood is what we need,
For other times we are cold;

And being so cold gets to you to believe,
Not a day will come of hope and light,
No one shall reach you anymore,
No one can make you bleed,
No one can make you happy either,
But then in it lies our satisfaction,
With security we give up the bigger risk,
Will security we allow to burn all the Ashes,
The past, the feelings, the human, the kind, the compassion, the empathy....everything;

And since yesterday,
I've been thinking why,
Why has this little bird come flying by,
Why have I covered it under a small shed of ice,
Why am I scared when it'll fly,
Why do I care so much that it bleeds again?
It wasn't supposed to happen,
I was supposed to have been cold,
I wasn't supposed to care....
And yet I do,
Once again, maybe too much,
And I can feel it will stay,
No fooling anyone, it's going no where,
It'll stay too damn long,
It'll bleed me dry