"It is hard to measure the depths of fear,
The roots, how far they could reach,
How they could impact your whole being"
There are two ways of life,
Vulnerable OR Impenetrable,
I choose the second,
What do you?
While very little,
Things become clear,
It wasn't too much effort,
I learnt by observing,
Not necessarily by drowning,
So I was scared, very scared,
Of being vulnerable to the evil world;
Soon I found the bricks and mortar,
And started my journey to concealment,
Building up the walls carefully,
Tough enough to block the streaks of day light,
And perfecting it through time;
Holding on to the strings of least social connects,
And keeping your secrets to yourself,
Letting out in a small dark room under the night cover,
Walking with a low profile during the day,
And the world never reached you;
In the crevasses left,
Sometimes some insects do creep in,
You think the light found its way and play with it,
Until one day in the midst of the night it feeds on your blood and leaves,
So you plaster the remaining walls with wounded arms,
Master them so to keep them away;
It still doesn't help,
Sometime the cage is smaller than the mass of fear you have built within,
And if someone comes by just to knock in,
You scare it away!
No it's not fair,
But what is fair to the girl who has received none?
What is love to the girl who has learnt to earn her own food?
It becomes hardly feasible to distinguish between the insects and the light,
So eventually you don't look any further,
You scare away all that may come by,
And often within you realize, you are incapable of love,
Incapable of giving,
So you let them go whichever way they come,
Sometime not letting them know why,
It only costs a few more nights of demise!
And in the emptiness of fear,
Sometimes you succumb to it,
Scared but more scared to accept,
Least the insects know you are worth a dime;
So you make the walls thicker,
Best your cries don't reach the outside;
And your emotions are rock solid,
They have left you dry long time back,
You are a dead stone,
Void of the human turmoil,
And so earnestly when light visits you,
You kick the wall to tear it down,
But it's not easy to bring down what has been the essence of your existence!
You are almost always late,
To the parade of love,
Fighting the battles of vulnerability, experience and wise thoughts,
And the blood that spills from your palms in wild attempts to break the walls;
So we who chose the second form of life,
To be impenetrable are immune to your love,
We lose our momentum in trying to tear away the walls,
But we appreciate if you help us unwind the prejudices we built so long,
If you can prove to us manhood is not the unforgiving ruthless man,
If you can wait for us and let us believe in the meaning of true love,
The kind that stays on for a lifetime,
The kind that enriches you,
The kind that helps you grow!
Here is our sincere apology for the souls who came our way,
And we shut the door and cried behind the bars,
We can't help the reflexes that got built into us,
We know we are broken beyond repair,
Untouched but broken with hopelessness,
You can embark on a challenging journey,
In return we promise our eternal love, sacred and unscathed,
Unmoved by the winds of nature,
A love one of its kind,
Once in a lifetime!
Help us see the world we have never seen!
-With Love,
Priyaani
P.S. For all the women scared to love!
