Numb2

"It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply" - David Jones

On mundane days and longer nights,
It will occur to you,
Even if you've had the power to let go,
Even if you've been that brave soul,
It will come back to you,
In those rarest moments,
In those weakest hours,
When you least need it to,
It will remind you of your mere pretence,
Of you being but just human,
Helpless and vain;

You've learn after so long now,
How to hold the shield right,
How to battle on the ground,
How to shed blood and not cry,
How to look like a soldier,
And on the ground you put up a good fight,
And when you are back,
In the solace of your lone bed,
Your eye will burn,
And slow drops of blood will smear your kajal,
You will know,
None can be strong enough,
For strength lies in acceptance,
For strength lies in the truth,
In those weakest hours,
When you least need it to,
It will remind you of your mere pretence,
Of you being but just human,
Helpless and vain;

Yes, you have learnt to not feel,
To turn stone cold,
And be void,
And once in a bluemoon,
It will be reaped open by a mere human,
To remind you how void you have become,
How relentless doesn't matter anymore,
How mere a mortal you have diminished to,
And you will want to love again,
Even if it meant at the cost of risking it all,
And disheartened you will return to the solace of your wet pillow,
This time it feel hurt less....or maybe we still pretend,
In those weakest hours,
When you least need it to,
It will remind you of your mere pretence,
Of you being but just human,
Helpless and vain;

Your numbness is your weapon of survival,
It helps you cloak in a scarred heart,
And within that creeps in light,
Sometimes we know not whether to bathe in it's warmth,
Or keep the mask on,
And the curse of having to let go what wasn't meant,
Is another 'numbness' all together again !