suddenly(nt the series of short stories)

It's hard to say and difficult to abstain myself from this weird feeling and truly I'm quite unable to keep it within me like I usually am able to.
Things are tearing up like they never did and my unplanned plans are going to waste.
Suddenly imagine when the scene of worthlessness and hope is set suppose something most unusual happens and u have to leave; U regret every moment when u were indecisive, every moment when u moved away for prejudice; every moment when u shied away; and now so many things remain undone; so many things unsaid; and for 1 last chance u feel like running away and doing all those things undone but somewhere somehow ur just nt sure and maybe sometime because society binds u , u just remain standing there feeling all the more despicable!
Not that ur in the best phase of life bt some things are good and may be there is this sudden idea of losing it that kills us..........may be we manage to be here on earth bt the harm is done~

Restless I feel,
bound and unbound,
Surging in me is the heat
Of emotion that dwelves in me
the tide rises high
And find no place to go;

I have a secret
a secret I cannot come to eyes with,
Something I'd like to say,
But I cannot;

Then there's so much,
Undone and undreamt,
Unfelt and unheard,
It's surging up,
In me like high tides,
I want it to hide in me like it usually does,
But today when the reasons are gone,
The day has come to depart,
I cannot but stop myself
From feeling desperate , despicable and reduce into nothing;

From where I begun,
So much is left,
So much of it I expected to happen,
Is yet to come,
And the time is not willing to wait,
I want to run away and tell u so,
But u seem so distant
My dreams seems to lose grip
I am clinging to the lease
Trying to be there as long as possible
And the calendar flips by.............

So may things undone,
So many things unsaid,
So many dreams undreamt,
So many secrets kept,
And now the purpose fails,
Leaving without a proper farewell is what hurts the most,
And yet I cannot say,
Something stops me,
And I regret my free spirit,
Why I stopped my self from being impulsive,
Why I don't speak my mind,
Why all of it only my eyes and face keep
But not words,
Why I just became that girl who could laugh
And be the cause of more
But never felt weary of doing so,
Why at times I didn't say all that I really felt.................