a silent night

I walk past the lamp post,
Across the window pane,
And stroll on......
rollover a rock
And stare into the hollow alley,
In the distance,
A light shone.......
And it's  a silent night......
And as it approaches,
It passes by,
No!It's not this one.....
It's still  damp,
The white bench wet,
The night freezing cold,
I walk past the lamp post,
Across the window pane,
And stroll on......
And it's a silent night......
And here I sit by the side,
Looking into the distance,
Now no light fading though,
Only hopes scattered into the darkness....
What keeps you from the promise,
My dear friend,
What worries me is,
What has become of you,
Why have I not seen you yet,
It's past time.....
I walk past the lamp post,
Across the window pane,
And stroll on......
And it's a silent night......
You know not much time in hand,
I won't be able to stay any long,
THe clock's ticking,
And this time I can't let others down;
I walk past the lamp post,
Across the window pane,
And stroll on......
And it's still a silent night......

o woman

There's constancy,
And impulse,
Your mood swiping your face
from shadow to smile
But everything like an open book,
So genuine;
One moment your here,
Next your not,
Imagination overtaking you,
And laughter so real,
Like happiness comes easy,

And then again your so pale,
A wondering thought
straining your temple....
Passion redefined,
deft is nothing,
Serene, sensitive and sincere,
Moody as ever,
Yet so pure.......
When no one's there,
Some could catch a glimpse
Of you dancing waltz,
And yet again
Your that hard face
concealing yourself,
Even so true,
scared of fallacy.....
A blush across your face,
A flash of swiping your lock aside
And the expression missed,
All anew .....
Eyes searching for suspicion
and then your calm,
when no one's gone with your secret,
Satisfied with ur ingenuity;
No thing goes away
when u set ur eyes on them,
The dreams in your eyes shone,
Never giving up,
And sometime one can see
Your free spirit out in teh space......
Moody as ever
But so real , so humane .....
 O , teh woman in you!

i'm drunk

Not a drop of alcohol,
Not a step misplaced,
Yet amazed
At how i'm dazed,
And not in place....
Not a drop of alcohol,
Not a step misplaced,
Yet i'm right here
Where I was sometime back
As I look into your spanish eyes,
I'm lost
And not found in the 'lost and found' box,
HEre's my hideout,
to look into ur spanish eyes,



Not a drop of alcohol,
Not a step misplaced,
Yet i'm lost
In this buzz
Into ur spanish eyes,
In a world serene,tranquil and mysterious,
My rendezvous with you,
Don't look away,
For
Not a drop of alcohol,
Not a step misplaced,
Into your spanish eyes,
I'm drunk;

acquaintance

I'm in this fear,
overriding every fear in me,
This very fear of moving apart,
Of losing all that I had from here;

The end of an era,
I'm not so fond of,
Yet by the end,
Where I had gained so much,
And had little to leave;

Yet when I think,
Think about the random days,
When I cared not for anything,
Somethings got noticed,
While some didn't
And then I got used to noticing;

And then when I think,
Of the building,board or chalk,
I think i will miss them not,
But the acquaintance I got used to;

Strange but I hardly ever spoke,
Strange how I used to avoid the genius,
How I was harsh on myself ,
To keep me safe,
And now at the very end
I realise I will miss what I associated
So long, so easily......

I won't say I was wrong,
For what I thought best I did,
For what my temperament did was
Nothing more that genuine,
And nothing could be more right,
Yet I see this ordinary thought,
That brings a joy and fear in me
That arouse deep revolt in me itself,
I know a fact I wouldn't like to express.......
A fact difficult to face,
An acquaintance at times leaves
A mark more than the space intended.........

the nostalgic yr and a terrible sem

Well this'll be just for my friends-found anew and with every true friend I find a new self in me!
The truth is we don't make our friends , they make us........And there is this other truth,
I will probably nt miss college bt the life/moments in which there ws this certainty that I'll reach my friends every damn day!............freaking I'm using such words bt I just said smtimes we're nt  who we think-infcat no one's constant only robots can .....
I've kind of lived every moment/day in this last yr of college- I let go of anything that beholds me(well mostly).......and yes it was fun. I was bad, i was good , i was lovely and ugly......I was true and mostly what matters I just bought me sm moments and sm friends money can't buy!
I once gave all my faith to some friend and believed in her with my soul and then to be bad to her is soo difficult......bt this time I've decided 'No more parasitic growth' for the sake of sympathy.2 Chances and awful forgiveness could not teach her to be true, then nothing can. And I really hope she never harms any of my people again or I wouldn't take it!
I came to know a few people whom I'd been judgemental of  and yet things were so much different. Some of them kept deep secrets-they completely hide themselves from the world, some who I never thought wld really care can call me to say how a good news cld be saddening because it meant leaving me(god!I'm on cloud 9) and I am nt depressed because I'll nt be a part of the race(that wl be soon i knw) bt because we'll run on different lines. Well, right now b4 my exams of whc i knw nthing and am unable to study due to present circumstances I really hope all this genuinely remains genuine all my life-I got to know people good and bad ........and i'll stick to them and they to me-The bond of friendship so redefined!
The race is different bt parallel may be........I'll make them merge sooner or later for we live for this day nt fr a millionaire~fr we know what it is t care and nt be afraid of it anyway!
~love,
my friends


At every level i've found new friends and each of them shows me something new in me........It is amazing hw we hardly knw ourselves and every time I see a new me through them.Not that I donot exist without them bt it's like we're so much more free, boosted and secure whn we are together.Maybe we can't be together always bt I don't believe in may be s .....I just knw if u want it it can be done.-So wl meet up i'm sure 

i promise u.....

While listening to this song 'i promise u' I just thought I didn't quite agree with it completely although the intensions of the singer are more genuine than ever!

"I promise u

from the bottom of my heart

I will love u

Till death do us part"

                             -backstreet boys 

Apart from relations i.e. romantic -on a more general ground can death part us with the ones we've been really attached-probably no.Infact the thoughts can send shudders right now and it always will. The relations we were born with and sought absolute selfless love,security and protection can anything on earth replace it?
Infact that is the very reason why absolute relations(i.e. blood) are more genuine than newly formed(i.e. lifepartner/soulmate-whatever!) but essentially it depends on the person not the genes or blood. Well when we're here it is questionable how many children get selfless love actually-100%?
-female infanticide
-dowry
-exchange policies(bt money and human)
-Does that ring a bell?
Yes not all fortunate souls are as fortunate as us-infact I have seen in close proximity distinction(subtle) based on sex and believe me they r sometimes the most highly qualified people!
-The problem with education being -does it educate a mind? Or only make us skilled?-mostly it addresses the 2nd , so we're here.....walking candle marches for little children and young girls. That does not mean the situation was better before. It is equally true that as women are getting skilled they are coming out into the streets and accepting the truth that it is not their fault but that who does it and it is the culprit who's to feel bad about it. Even corporal punishment can get u to think b4 u act, more intelligent plans might crop up bt the root of problems start when we get skilled in murder but our minds are nt enlightened with the right time and person -So we have better murderers than Cops(again there r exceptions).
Well what does all this have to do with sex discrimination?
-simple...........does ur mother love u because u're her son or just because u're u?....THINK
infact y mother?ur family and the closest people u know?
Love is mostly selfless and yes it has expectations-simple just this that u'll be beside +respect nothing more.
But suppose u're the basis of earning money?What if u're exchanged with the opposite sex or turn eunuch?-will ur share of love deplete?What if u're being brought up so u can support the rest and apart from that u're nowhere?What if u got all the love bt no respect?Well even girl child born to parents become modes of commodity-I said we get skilled bt nt enlightened!In areas where males aged 54 remain unmarried only because there is no girl are still the striking teh highest rates of female infanticide-y?....where's teh mind-?To meet the demand girls r imported from other states(Well that's what we thought happened with material stuff!)
In teh end if u're a son or a daughter and there is selfless love then value it and make ur parents proud because they are those people with minds that r so rarely found!-prove them right and yes.....
#it does nt mean ur bf/gf has nt selfless love(bt if it's there then it's probably more difficult than anyother relatn because there practically is no reason for the whole establishment) 

suddenly(nt the series of short stories)

It's hard to say and difficult to abstain myself from this weird feeling and truly I'm quite unable to keep it within me like I usually am able to.
Things are tearing up like they never did and my unplanned plans are going to waste.
Suddenly imagine when the scene of worthlessness and hope is set suppose something most unusual happens and u have to leave; U regret every moment when u were indecisive, every moment when u moved away for prejudice; every moment when u shied away; and now so many things remain undone; so many things unsaid; and for 1 last chance u feel like running away and doing all those things undone but somewhere somehow ur just nt sure and maybe sometime because society binds u , u just remain standing there feeling all the more despicable!
Not that ur in the best phase of life bt some things are good and may be there is this sudden idea of losing it that kills us..........may be we manage to be here on earth bt the harm is done~

Restless I feel,
bound and unbound,
Surging in me is the heat
Of emotion that dwelves in me
the tide rises high
And find no place to go;

I have a secret
a secret I cannot come to eyes with,
Something I'd like to say,
But I cannot;

Then there's so much,
Undone and undreamt,
Unfelt and unheard,
It's surging up,
In me like high tides,
I want it to hide in me like it usually does,
But today when the reasons are gone,
The day has come to depart,
I cannot but stop myself
From feeling desperate , despicable and reduce into nothing;

From where I begun,
So much is left,
So much of it I expected to happen,
Is yet to come,
And the time is not willing to wait,
I want to run away and tell u so,
But u seem so distant
My dreams seems to lose grip
I am clinging to the lease
Trying to be there as long as possible
And the calendar flips by.............

So may things undone,
So many things unsaid,
So many dreams undreamt,
So many secrets kept,
And now the purpose fails,
Leaving without a proper farewell is what hurts the most,
And yet I cannot say,
Something stops me,
And I regret my free spirit,
Why I stopped my self from being impulsive,
Why I don't speak my mind,
Why all of it only my eyes and face keep
But not words,
Why I just became that girl who could laugh
And be the cause of more
But never felt weary of doing so,
Why at times I didn't say all that I really felt.................

opaque

I once remember,
On the desolate outskirts
Where the forest marked it's solemn end
I pledged my steps would never return,
Once I'd run into them.......

The crying call
Kept me at bay,
I had to stay
Or leave at risk,
The risk to wide the road too narrow,
The knowledge too shallow
To find a rendezvous
To know the noble me;


When things had torn
Much more than I thought,
And literal meaning took
My hand,
I heard the demeaning devil,
The crying calls growing distant....
The willow trees making way,
And I was running into unveiled,undiscovered,
Like Borneo was born again;

Mystic,chastity, amuse grasped me,
I had broken the unforgiving ties,
And my heart felt at ease.....
But say me why,
In this distant land,
Where no borders I cross,
No distance I gauge,
A creature like me in this heavenly abode
Must share my place
And yet deny to be a part?

No matter how hard I tried,
The things were not much penetrable,
A guard of case he wore so well,
How hard I tried it was in vein;
In moments he'd say of the fondest times,
And yet again take them back,
As if  I were to spy on him,
Wherein I had no idea of where I was;

The dark deep eyes,
Hidden in them a story so true,
And yet the silence encumbers this
For it was not a promised rendezvous!
I trod roads with this old menace
Still under the spell of mute,
Having to face the surviving facts,
Of which I had learnt not much;

And yet on this day
When I part,
I part as a stranger to him,
No words said,
No memories shared,
As if I knew a living ghost......
He never reclined,
He'd never rest,
As if protecting his life's best,
Memories cherished if ever said,
He'd slap himself for the mistake made;

And yet again
I stand there,
On the verge of the forest end,
Just the same as before,
But I think it was more than 'the end'
It was a book of realities,
The good ones I used to read in books,
Wherein I had escaped to discover,
I came across the vanquished me,
It gave me life,freedom and joy
Wherein I had given it none
And yet again when I stand on the edge
I feel the false cringing my neck,
I want to run into the wild,
Wherein I get the untampered humanity;

I saw a face,
Close enough but far away,
It passed by me
As if I wasn't a part,
I surely wasn't
Cause I was like the fruitless tree.....
No vengeance engulfed me,
But wisdom dawned,
I turned back into the unknown world,
For a trip again,
Into the wild,
Whether or not I find the opaque guy;