The lost love

Have you had the feeling of shackles pulling onto your feet when the new light is trying to touch upon you? The darkness that you have loved for so long becomes so much a part of you and you live it.

The light doesn't come in here,
It has been a few years since the shackles have been removed,
I am not chained,
But I sit exactly at the same place,
And I do not twitch for the freedom as you'd me to do.

The songs do not reach my ear,
The birds don't come so far,
Into the lost woods of decay,
It is a place for the maggots, worms and insects,
They encircle the cave around,
And make my ears susceptible to various sounds,
The feel of deep dark caves have become my air,
In it I breathe and move into more alienation,
Time is not what counts,
It is neverending-it doesn't even matter.

And I remember that when one time,
The sun had made up its mind,
To change the nocturnal world,
To feed us its rays,
It strived very hard,
The light I say,
Tried terrible measures,
Often put back by the inability to rule the dark gods,
And I was an object of interest in the fight;

Human nature was little known for instability,
It's urge to enter the deemed free world may have made the sun feel superior,
How was it to know,
The dark gods don't enslave you,
You become them,
What you fear,
And you fear yourself,
So much that you'd be a part of the crime,
Than defend yourself,
The dark eats you whole,
But leaves a part of you alive and more wanting,
This part wants more of the darkness,
It sees in the dark,
Feeds on it,
And defends it,
Beyond the logic and that is where I sit;

Shackles are what I had,
Now it is natural,
For so many years,
This is me and I accept me.

I did try to escape,
Everyone does,
But spared is no one,
In the world outside,
There is love, security and freedom,
But we all come back with hunger for the deepest darks,
The pure oxygen outside makes our lungs creak,
We must rock the dark rocks,
And play with the worms,
To satisfy our insatiable hunger;

And so I am sorry,
To the sun and moon and every human out there,
You've tried,
Maybe not enough sometimes,
But a lot,
And I want you to know I appreciate that more humanly than possible for me,
I sat here that day,
Trying to hold on the your hands,
Thinking the light can do me good,
The love could cure the hungry souls within,
And then I felt my shackles around my legs,
They felt more real than the first time,
I still tried to break through them,
I know it was hard for you to come for me,
Risking being a part of this place,
I want you to know I tried,
But as I said,
The darkness was us,
It wasn't a part of us anymore,
The only way I could survive the blinding torche,
Was by making you a part of us,
And that I would not wish,
So I had to let the shackles become part of it again,
So I stayed back,
You wouldn't understand,
But that's the idea always :)

Did I say- I wanted you to try harder,
May be there is a way after all!