Failed Identity

#SadAlert If you are in a bad mood don't read this, it might make you gloomier. I'm facing this for quite some time now, the feeling of depression, identity crisis. Yes! It is very common may be but as writing is a way to calm me down, I thought sharing it with you can be of help. Perhaps you could also tell me how to best solve it.

I believe these are some of the grey days where i'm utterly confused, restless and hate the way I am. On the contrary I do love a lot of things about me but the single fact 'Who Am I' bothers me too much. As is know life didn't turn out the way I had dreamy planned it, it hardly so happens. So was the reason I actually got to writing. Any of you in 20 something are undergoing the same time? Or maybe you've been through it.

I sometimes wake up crying, or even feeling numb about whoever I am. It's not really my fault I didn't get famous and be known, yet I don't know how to work things out. The very first things I did last time I was here at age 18 was:
1. learn dance
2. lose weight
3. look in the mirror and feel great
4. get a great job
5. grow fashion sense and shop

After sometime, now I am almost addicted to what women say 'Shopaholic'. Yet, it's not long lasting, the feeling only stays away until I stop shopping, or I keep if away while i'm with a friend.

Some even suggest, I am 'lonely', with a house full of people. I really don't agree to that. Yes, friends might be at a minimal and some of them even bitch around your back, so they dwindle further. But there's this other problem in your 20's, the opposite sex declines friendship and well a blunt 'Love You' cannot be more fake and disgusting. Someone who doesn't know you can obviously not love you for the right reasons. Plus i'm into sports, books and so many things usually online, so it's not really 'lonely' there. Moreover the right people sometimes don't turn back but betray and yes that can be quite a heart break and no more trying out 'love' thing.
On too of all the feeling, the following video got me more depressed-
Incase you can't see video- [Link] is as follows on.ted.com/Jay 
All together, it's a mess........I wish I could beat this feeling like last time. Do you have any suggestions? Do let us know, many of our kind would be helped.

Sorry if I messed up your day, just needed some help maybe. -#confused20