Sunday, 5 July 2015

In love with your eyes-Zayn

This is a story about 'Zayn Malik' , former One Direction Member. I'm not a die hard fan but when I checked his wikipedia, there was a moment of virtual love, his eyes spoke and i'm in love with your eyes :). Crazy stupid, care to read?

The moment I hit my keyboard,
I saw a memory splash on the pages,
You were alive in millions of hearts,
As a memory and all those millions were moved,
Knowing the vastness of your personality,
That could move an ocean of humans,
I quickly googled by your name,
To be there on this encyclopedia page.

What was different,
And I barely notice such asset in a star,
The eyes were speaking,
No wonder it spoke to the millions,
No wonder you swayed them all,
And I was here,
Staring stupidly at those deep ocean eyes,
Maybe it was a passing thought,
But I think it was a moment of virtual love.

They said something,
Not very happy,
A sense of reservation teamed with pain,
I wish I could cure that pain,
But i'm but just an author,
Who likes to think so,
And scribbles on the go,
And I also know,
Your eyes they speak,
They speaketh with me,
With millions in this world,
I don't know what happened,
I don't know why you moved on,
I just know why you sing so well,
It's all there in your eyes,
And I hope you know 'you are beautiful'

Life doesn't get on without you,
We just don't read between the lines!



Sunday, 28 June 2015

I'm okay..

You walked into me with your girl, she secretly smirked and you asked, "You Okay?"
"I'm Okay.."


You were acting cold for a few days,
I tried to understand,
Gave you all the space you said you often didn't get,
But there's a hint of guilt in your eyes,
When you ask if i'm okay
Am I okay?
Yes, i'm okay, i'm alright,i'll do fine,
Like any other time

You choose to sit beside me with your girl,
And behave like your the best friend of mine,
And I know what you did within,
Maybe it's because of the hint of guilt in your eyes?
When you ask if i'm okay
Am I okay?
Yes, i'm okay, i'm alright,i'll do fine,
Like any other time

You post the best pics with your girl,
They surprise me with the shapes they make,
A heart, romantic pose or something else,
I thought you were not virtual,
You didn't like the buzz around the social bee,
Maybe you also said you liked it private,
So private it didn't get to me....or are you confused like so many other times?
But there's a hint of guilt in your eyes,
When you ask if i'm okay
Am I okay?
Yes, i'm okay, i'm alright,i'll do fine,
Like any other time

Even if I cry around the next corner,
And I miss you like hell,
You'll never know,
Because whatever I said stands,
It's private now, and you don't have a pass no more,
Am I okay?
Yes, i'm okay, i'm alright,i'll do fine,
Like any other time
I'm okay, i'm alright,i'll do fine.......

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

A silent lover's battle

This is a story of love not war....
for the ones don't say but do, for the ones who speak only by their mind & soul,for the ones like me

It has been a problem with me,
Since childhood I can remember,
I always felt too much and said very little,
Sometimes nothing at all,
I am too shy with the matters of the heart,
But within I feel the fire roar;



Love-A matter so sacred to the heart,
I like it sincere, separate from the crowd,
Where I can look into your eyes,
And read the truth in them,
The unsaid words,
So, I wait,
I wait for my silence to meet yours,
When the crowd will break,
And we will share what we mutually sense.

I must agree though,
The society has successfully gotten this into me,
I patiently wait for the first move you make,
For I am scared more than you right now,
The rest is mine, my commitment is done,
It is not questionable, it is divine,
All you must ask is but once,
If I would like to come?..........

Love-A matter so sacred to the heart,
I like it sincere, separate from the crowd,
Where I can look into your eyes,
And read the truth in them,
The unsaid words,
So, I wait,
I wait for my silence to meet yours,
When the crowd will break,
And we will share what we mutually sense.

And I will walk the distance,
Far & wide, round and round,
Along with you,
Wherever it is,
Only in the end,
You must make sure,
You keep your words,
And your knees don't fall weak,
You don't feel tired to walk those extra miles,
Where we can count the stars,
And hear our breadths,
Where I can see your silhouette,
Against the dessert sand,
Where my hair blows wild,
And you caress their beauty,
Where there is no fear,
Only trust by being their for one another,
Even before you say,
I am already yours;

Love-A matter so sacred to the heart,
I like it sincere, separate from the crowd,
Where I can look into your eyes,
And read the truth in them,
The unsaid words,
So, I wait,
I wait for my silence to meet yours,
When the crowd will break,
And we will share what we mutually sense,
When you will kiss me like the world will end,
And we can hold tight knowing that moment is all that matters.........

Monday, 15 June 2015

Being Me-It's not hard but it's not easy I promise

'An Indian Girl', a stamp is enough to add to your barriers, I do not feel it erodes a lady's life, it does the same to men to different extents. An Indian woman is not an idea, it is a rule we live each day. Wearing jeans brings earthquakes, our hot pants are better in the cupboard, expressing yourself makes you a 'bad girl',freedom is do whatever you want inside the house, protecting the land is not your forte, karate is not needed just call your rapers brother-Now Some People Are Upset with the GenY going mad!



Every day will be judgmental, every day you will see failures decide for your faith, at the day end you will realize the time has slipped and your love has walked away never to return. Every day is not  a new opportunity, it is Me who causes this pain to myself. I am solely responsible for each moment that I breadth & decide to do so. Being free is not the solution, it is an escape plan I never choose. Some places I think like I left back my dreams, I paid too much for the other part but how would I choose between the two? Some choices are difficult, never right or wrong....

I do a decent job being me. Not much, striving to do & experiment every day & i'm lucky to have that chance. I'm an emotional fool, heart affairs are overly sensitive to me and not all boys interest me, even if they do I court shy. Yet I must be married by a deadline they say. I'm tried of this struggle, yet i'm fighting a battle not just with the society, but with the monitors of it who are my parents too. It's not easy to make your point. We all (Indian Ladies) do a great job I believe. So much, it deserves some thought. You'll see more details.

I request the guys out there to make this easier for us. I say i'm not rocket science, but it does need some patience. Just try to understand us, you may fail but if you try that's good enough. We are complicated, not that much though as much as portrayed, we grew up in separate society laws,privileges, circumstances. Let's make your daughter's life better, let's not give her a reason to be Feminist, let's make it happen.

22 years and nothing has changed, the day you realize the world will go on without you just the way it is, you'll run for your dreams. But some of us live in a dream where the world needs us, where we decide sometime not quite the best. No, i'm not selfless but you know what-i'm me & it's not easy I promise.



Some great songs to brighten your mood:

"I cannot make it to the end, I can only push a stone, maybe it will knock your door?"-priyaani

Sunday, 31 May 2015

The Train Journey ~ that lasted a lifetime

I always liked train journeys more than flights, flights are so busy and you are at the destination without the journey ever touching you, like a port to the final destination. While trains are slow, they touch every corner before you get off, the wait is long...wherein each moment the craving of reaching stacks up greatly, the small talks on the way with the random passengers who inspire you & show you a glimpse of the local life around....it's a journey. Of all of them, this maybe why they have become a bigger part of my life!

I'm on my way home from work, a long night & a day it will be from Dehra to Calcutta. Lucky seat, the guy sitting opposite to me is really grabbing my attention, he has run to& fro to the door exactly 10 times in the last 5 minutes. There's another man clad in all black, charming no less and keeps his calm just too much, he keeps looking all around & doesn't react when our eyes meet, that's a little offensive! A beautiful lady is on the window side and managing a cute little baby too well. Her sister is on the next compartment, she had mentioned before leaving her baby here. The train looks awfully crowded for the off-season, travelling has become luxury now-a-days, no more necessity.



"Excuse me Sir, can I see your ticket and Id ?", the TT has started his checks this way down. It is now that I noticed a new person had replaced the hyper man, this man seemed aged, unshaven and coughed like whopping cough. Maybe he was travelling for treatment after all. The TT finished his round and the Hyper man or his luggage nothing appeared. I was starting to think his seat was mistaken, unless I reached the restrooms before retiring to bed. I saw the man apologizing to a woman for taking too long in the restroom and standing near the open compartment door. The light shone on his face, he seemed to me a fairly young lad of 20, with stress marked on every unformed wrinkle. I slid behind the divider and watched quietly. He retraced his path into the restroom, latched himself out unless the next bang was heard and everything was repeated as moments before.

This intrigues me and something inside me rendered me fearless. I took the side beside him in front of the open compartment door, he looked at me and smiled like a stranger would, making it obvious I was the only one who had noticed him. In my mind ran a string of thought, each crashing into another and building up a chain reaction. It occurred to me last if he would bring out a gun and shoot if I told him I had seen him hide there when he pulled me close and I heard a loud clank. We saw a bullet on the floor. He clutched my arm really hard and latched the restroom behind, I was too shocked to react, no drama does not hit you when you've been threatened of your life. "Some one missed a shot, why are you here?", I looked back even more stunned, did I know him? "Look I mean, are you a detective or something, I've seen you noticing everyone notorious".
"Are you a gangsta?", I blurted.
"No, otherwise. I can't say, you should go, how would you go, they think you are with me and you are in danger"
"I can see that! I'm no one, just mango man, i'll go, it's stuffy in here and don't know if you are to be trusted", staring straight into his sparkling eyes.
"You don't have much choice but I can tell if you stay. You may not believe me though", he replied plainly.
As mentioned I didn't have much of an option, I resented this place but his eyes were genuine, he didn't seem to lie-I had to trust my gut. So I went with it.

"Look I won't harm anyone, I want to save. That guy right there, the one in Black opposite your seat is a suicide bomber. He has his wife and children with him but they don't know, he is Haider. I have not been able to identify all his troop, more will be there apart from bombers who will make sure everything is on track, like the one who shot you. Some one on their troop was a friend of mine, he can't shoot me but he thought I had a troop and maybe tried to kill you so. I don't know, i'm only guessing!", he looked at me with dread. I was happy moments back, ignorant of the future, now that I knew it, I felt worse. I didn't really know how to act, I wasn't skilled but I doubt that could help now. There was a gang of bombers on the train and we would blow up in some time.

"Are you there?",he called out a little loud and I shrieked.
"How long?", I asked him.
"I don't know, I need their plan, right now i'm just guessing, we need to stop this!"
"You have a gang too?"
"No, I meant you and me, now that you know?", he replied looking at me questioningly.
"Ofcourse, who are you?"
"A Suspended IPS, my initials are 'J.A', since more information can be harmful, i'd prefer you know just that much", he looked a little shy now after a considerable time. Drama didn't hit me yet.
"What about your friend?"
"He's on the other side, he left our service for the right reasons but joined the wrong side, he's my best friend and he'll never hurt me, he has a dragon tattoo,be careful"

I wasn't sure if his friend was that loyal, his trust was unbreakable ofcourse, I closed the door behind me and reached my train birth. Sleep was the last thing I could think of, I looked down at the little baby twitch and soon after cried out. The lady patted her but she refused to calm down. I saw the man look through the corner of his eyes but he didn't come to help. I thought it seemed he regretted his decision. I helped her out, we got chatting, we whispered and I while the baby cried she told me small things about her village, how their lives had changed when her husband was outcast for something he had not done. They seemed like a happy family. I saw the man caste a glance at me, I did earn some more trouble. I got a few more details and rushed back to the end. I knocked, called out 'J.A', mentioned some details and he was out. I gave him some idea and he said all that was small talk, of no importance. I hated this ofcourse but I went back silently.

This time, on my birth I heard whispers. I stuck my ear close to the divider, I could hear some words 'It's not time, wait, 9 AM' in local language. To reconfirm I threw my bag at the man opposite. Immediately someone from the adjacent seat ran out to find out if he was okay. The man didn't reveal I had thrown the bag which surprised me.

This time my information was well appreciated. The bad part was a massive crowd on the train was their gang, distributed miserably well. I had also guessed, the police could not help on a running train, the next station was far far away, the work would be done by then. I didn't call home, I called my best friend and spoke to her about college and laughed like never before. On hanging up I cried profusely, J clasped me when the clock struck 8:56, "We'll can make it", he said with a smile. I knew noone would. I clasped him back, trying to hold on to the last human nearby.

When I gained consciousness, the train had stalled, beside was a beautiful water body, people were all over, a small blast did happen but the major plan had failed. I saw J and called to him, I was not hurt a bit, J was staggering towards me with the baby girl. The unshaven man in Black felt for his pocket and placed the gun in line to shoot me. Before I realized, J had jumped, I caught the baby and the lady but J had fallen, he was shot. The man jumped into the water and burst. J said, "That was my best friend!" and he smiled.

A lump formed in the throat, I didn't know much of this person but little was enough to salute his spirit, I didn't have much of a choice but I had fallen in love with a guy a respected just too much. Walking away was hard but it was all I could do, hoping the future had more such men & women of brevity in store.

This is why I love trains, maybe I wait for J to be back some day, or to save the world someday!
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