patience tears(2)

The child I've been,
The follies I've made,
The people I've let go,
And the ones that used me,
Somewhere somehow I know I've lost a lot,
But gained much more;

I pity the small,
Who let the innocent be crushed,
For they know not,
What they have lost,
And yet again,
I feel them small,
For they know not,
How they must trust;

An ample incidents,
A rapid journey,
Four years like on the train,
But every moment brought a grain,
That nurtured, nourished and got drained;

I have never fallen,
Never loved my college in true,
For I was fast paced,
Looking for a different cue;

But then by chance,
I was shocked to see,
How these petty human beings,
Could arouse in me so many a thought,
Not knowing what happened,
I unconsciously did,
Fall in love with the life it bred in me;

Cheerful friends-some with a distinct taste of humour,
Some so serious-they scorched the soul,
Some so simple-they laughed for me,
Some so jovial-so I could smile.....
Everything I surpassed for the few years,
Besides, I thought everything would end but like a dream,
But as it happened i never knew,
They made a place,
Though very few;

I had made a core so hard,
It was not difficult but impossible to feel,
To touch the soul that lied in great depths,
It was a cold line that shrouded me around,
And even then the worst thing happened,
A persistent piece with all it's tricks,
Had drawn my eyes,
Who's absence had made me anxious,
My soul, I could hear it beat again,
But I remained in the cold world i belong,
Ignoring the fact I never accept,
I never will,
For I doubt the world around me,
A chance that can break who I am,
And from there I may not return!
But yet I know the price of faith,
Even if it breaks, I gain a lot,
Irony has made a statement so sure,
It gave me friends but no further could I endure;

So subtle was everyday,
It came like a game,
Challenges brought,
Responsibilities laid,
Rough and dreary was the path,
And today when it's over,
I feel it more a loss!

-As told by a friend

Patience tears

It is a weird feeling when something gleeful and sour happen together........u don't know whether to smile or to just cry, it's but a time where u have no choice, u must smile and yet it is just fallacy!

Intrigued is my mind,
The soul is mostly apart,
I cannot choose within the smiles,
That mark my words or read my mind......

It is a rare occasion,
And yet it's common now,
For in this struggle I see myself,
Flowing into the rush......

Nothing to care,
Nothing to say,
Just hurrying so I am not crushed,
But here my heart beats so fast,
It cries to stop my haste,
For knows it within,
What passion it holds,
The mere existence it cannot fake....

A life has been ruined,
Filling up mugs of expectations,
A torture it's taken,
No knowing how it succumbed to it.....
And deeper and deeper it drags me in,
My heart it aches,
Wants to run...away....where it could start again.....

I have no regrets,
And yet I do,
For what I did,
I have this lot,
But for that old fact,
I lost my track.....

Bent I am,
Now life gets the better of me,
Is it because I'm not where my heart aches to be,
Or it is because I refuse to be a part of this?

I have a story,
Millions of them,
Some r known,
While some r untold;
I had a life,
A four yr side,
It meant a lot and lost a lot,
I regret it not,
For the friends I got,
And yet I know,
The corny fact,
The heart is not patient anymore,
It refuses to run at the race anymore.......
It gives a thud,
And i fear it's nearing it's last,
I consoled it yet "a little long",
But it has faith no more,
There it must rest in solace..
The future untold ,
The dreams unread....

-As told by a friend

juvenile siblings

emily-Oh brother where to do you go,
        When you promised me your time?
          Life has changed i say,
           Before I had never to say,
           Have I made your day-.....

     ......Looking back you stare,
           Deep into the wilderness,
           As if something it is you lost,
          From where your roots had been cut......
         Melancholy fills my self,
          I've seen you distant and grey,
        Has the world changed for us?
         I stand right here,
         Like 20yrs back,
          When we played in the sun,
         Fought the village son,
         And made the run...
         Everything together,
        Nothing ever surpassed our minds,
         It was own or not,
       Then y today does it matter,
        Just my being here-is that not all anymore?
        Does the 'name' have so much to do.....
        It lies before my hands?

Charlie-You, my sister,
            My every breath is for you,
            It is not you or your deeds that bring furry,
            But the soul that has been untaught to ignore,
          What blood in me run,
          Is my sombre soul-,
          I lay unknown to the facts of life,
           And treat this as my home,
         But all of a sudden,
         Things seem to be gone!

Emily-Beloved brother,
          It sums up to the same,
          The choice is yours,
          My love or your blood,
           The love that remains,
         Or the blood that destiny had abandoned,
         Nothing makes you save yourself,
        Your decision shall be accepted,
        And if so, I'll be gone!

Charlie-Rest a little while,
           I'm not here to run,
            Even now,if i close my eyes,
          I see me playing in the grass,
          Rolling in the clay,
         With a smile all along,
          And in it you are the only part,
         Who cared whether I laughed or cried in pain,
          I cannot deny what i know today,
           But beyond this place,
           I know, One thing,
          Without you......life is not fun,
          Lifeless I am without my son,
         So much am I without you,
         I donot choose,
          Destiny does,
          But I'll stand beside you,
          Whether it is death or not!

Emily-I smiled.....now the riddle must be gone,
           "So what does it mean?I'm here to stay or be gone?"
        I hugged him tight after only aday,
        But felt like years.....
       How can I be gone?
        I cannot live without this man-i thought.....

Charlie-No ones going anywhere I say,
             Go to hell with destiny,
           We're not knitting balls,
           That destiny shall kick us over all,
            We decide to stay.....here,
           That I have called home for 20yrs,
          When blood has denied and love has beckoned,
          How can I part with you..
          Dear sister,
           Oh!Emily,you are the ruler of my heart,
           But I am annoyed....You haven't told me of 'nevil'
       

            ...Oh!And I *blush* ....


-As from the heart of a brother and sister when suddenly the brother gets to know his blood line is not the same as his sister.....he's from the forest tribe, left desolate and unclaimed..

reflection

Have you a mirror,
That asks you your deeds?
Not the one like
Snowwhite deals
But the one that asks you your deeds..

Everyday I've asked myself,
For what I did,
What I had meant to do not,
And yet in desperation,
I happen to break it through..
It's harsh on me,
Or my conscience so true,
Or was it my innocence I curse too much;
Never be afraid,
To admit who you are,
The world will listen,
Once you are here,
Here, where the mike resides,
There I may be someday,
But I fret not on that,
It's the mirror the scares me,
That causes me to reflect,
On the worst thoughts I try to forget,
To drain away any illusion,
That might have crept........
But here again,
It is so weird,
The world that is a stage for equivocation;
It leads us to be normal,
When we're crying within,
And asks us to laugh low,
For the spotlight may be here,
On the ebbs of the bay,
I promise myself,
Never to compromise with who I am,
Never to regret all that I've done or felt,
For the true person does not fear,
And the world listens to her,
Even when she's not at the mike.........

Silence has a voice,
Deeper than any decibel,
It reverberates through air and water,
It breaks my mirror into pieces,
And rips my soul apart!
So what if it comes at a price,
The world has it heard!

The untreated vent

Oh the vent......have you heard of it?
It thumps with every beat
And brings back those painful deeds;
Have I a strong memory
Or is it my heart that speaks?
Of distant dreams,
Of heavenly bliss....
Where reality fails to be??

On the contrary,
My brains it thunders,
Have i not said "u've made a blunder?"
Hurled back into its seat,
And thumping it says,
It's you who tells,
I listen to your commands,
I erase it everytime,
From RAM, ROM and all,
But you simply won't give me the keys
To your trivial heart Database trees-
They simply cause a normal being,
To become frivolous and blue,
Least assured are you;

The mind doth fight,
The soul doth cry,
Several times they've had this fight.....
Weary is my heart,
Of cholesterol no?
But silently it knows,
I cracked a joke,
For I weigh only forty,
And live on 2 meals,
For it has endured,
What destiny had not.....
And then the final goodbye
Can only be a choice,
When the lithium battery is taken away,
The life eth end,
With a simple thump,
With less sorrow more anxiety.