Dating.....or not ?

This one's gonna be a book someday and maybe soon. But right now, I'm just gonna help people not get used.

Here's the thing. India doesn't date. They exploit. Why ? Happens to have a mixed hypocritical mindset hanging between finding love through dating and arranged marriages.

Arranged marriages are getting a good deal through online portals or match makers. These happen to be good deals because of the seriousness of its approach (parents are the ones that scan). It's a good thing if you can see beyond mind blocks. But that us hard because all of us were patterned to think we'd have our love stories someday. Perpetually, that is so not true.

On the other hand, there are a few dating options online and they are an absolute no no. Why ? Well, the people on it are looking for 'ego boost', 'revound', 'flings' etc. Are they looking for a life partner? Literally no. The ones who are looking for life partners are actual on more serious sites. Why isn't dating serious? Well, the so called modern generation in india dates in complete privacy. They have secret dates who sometimes get married too but that's pretty rare. People happen to have very bad amounts of experience with the opposite sex because of poor ratios in plenty fields eg. Engineering. So, this is why they date.....to be able to gain some experience. Obviously, it ends up getting twisted.

Lastly, the younger generation is too insecure to even be in love. Why? Because they don't even know what to focus on. Some will even  come up with ideas about long term as 'kinky'. Well. ....priority much?

Maybe it'll be someday a little better. But right now, I'd say.....Stay away. And if you're on any of these places for very innocent reasons, you can test the waters but I suggest you keep you boundaries. You are the only protector of yourself. This ground is not a good place.....instead gp out,dance....maybe sing. Do things you've wanted to do. I found great guys simply at a badminton match over any of these stupid dating sites. Makes sense, the secure individuals with healthy social circles were very rarely on those sites.

So why waste time? Time is money....you know and memories

The Soulmate

I've read like a ton of documents on this, I've even been through some of the logical deductions and why we feel this way kind of thing. Basically, I only ended up with some ideas of my own. We all have a picture of our perfect one in our heads. Mine is fairly realistic, there's no type, just a divine bond. Yes, probably, not so realistic. Well, what are dreams made of anyway?

So, sometimes, unlike many other times, some people get you. Weird, very weird. I consider myself a total maniac who looks and does all the normal stuff. Well, there are just some faces that go unnoticed and I like it that way. Apparently, there are people who can read that. To be very honest, this is intimidating like hell. And to such people, who take the effort, this is for you

(The significance of this image lies in water and fire)


I'd probably have told you this,
If we'd meet on a setting sun,
And I wish to be able to do so someday,
When I have a little more words,
When I'm feeling a little less rushed,
When I can feel my heart beat not so fast;

It's but a weary day,
On which I'll take that step,
Before that I hope there will be many more suns to set,
For this thing, this scary vulnerability is shaking me,
In ways I never knew I could,
And I'm getting to know a new me,
I do hope you'll stay,
After I've healed,
It wouldn't be easy to let go,
But I promise I couldn't force,
Even if you were my forever;

I hope I can swim through this,
In fact, I hope we both can,
It would a lovely journey to see,
Both of us emerging victorious on the other side 'Together';
I hope we make it 'Soulmate'

Oh....not anymore. I think we just did fine. Time is such a friend, always shows us our true colors

Does love come packaged in types ? Types of clouds and a weird analogy

We'll first learn a few things....like types of clouds. Do you remember ? We had read this is our 4th standard about 4 basic types. Search google and that's gone up to 10 basic types ( thank god 90s have passed that phase :p ).

The good thing is the type of cloud can help you predict the expected weather. Not all clouds mean rain....now it gets interesting !


Types Of Cloud : 

There are 10 Basic Types, we'll cover 6 major ones

Cumulus - 'Fair Weather'

These are the ones we learn to draw. These are also happy clouds, as in symbolises good weather. Sunny clear sky could have these and then later disappear. Puffy bright white tops and flat dark bottoms.

Stratus - 'Light Mist Or Drizzle'

Stratus hang low in the sky as a flat, featureless, uniform layer of grayish cloud. It resembles fog that hugs the horizon (instead of the ground). 'Weather is cloudy / misty' would often mean these ones.

Cirrus - 'Fair Weather Or Tropical Cyclones'

These come into my selected list for how they look. Yes, it's deceptive too. Like their name (which is Latin for "curl of hair") suggests, cirrus are thin, white, wispy strands of clouds that streaks across the sky. These form at an altitude >20,000 feet , thus these are basically ice droplet clouds (not water). They often form on fair weather days or sometimes before an oncoming tropical cyclones.

Cumulonimbus - 'Thunderstorm'

The cauliflower cloud. Cumulonimbus clouds are one of the few clouds that span the low, middle, and high layers. They resemble the cumulus clouds from which they grow, except they rise into towers with bulging upper portions that look like cauliflower.

Often short and heavy periods of rainfall, hail, tornadoes follow

Nimbostratus - Rain Cloud

The rain cloud. Nimbostratus clouds cover the sky in a dark gray layer. They can extend from the low and middle layers of the atmosphere and are thick enough to blot out the sun. Nimbostratus is the quintessential rain cloud. You'll see it whenever steady rain or snow is falling (or is forecast to fall) over a widespread area.

Cirrocumulus - Pretty Clouds

Cirrocumulus clouds are small, white patches of clouds often arranged in rows that live at high altitudes and are made of ice crystals. Called "cloudlets," the individual cloud mounds of cirrocumulus are much smaller than that of altocumulus and stratocumulus, and often look like grains.







Refer here for checking out all 10 types







Types Of Love

Notice, clouds come in 100s of types, we've made life easy by classifying them into 10 major types based on some common traits. This is the fundamental of any classification (including animal kingdom). Inspite of the classification, there may be exceptions. And a whole lot of a subject's traits are overlooked to drop them into a bucket. A Cirrocumulus cloud on 24th may be very different from the one formed on 25th. They may even have slightly separate impacts. Similarly, from our experiences, we tend to put 'love' into buckets available to our mind. Here's some my mind cam up with (Weird stuff my mind does)


Just like the clouds, 'love buckets' come with various outcomes, predictions and characteristics. Some are nurturing in nature, some are growing, some toxic, some insecure, mind-blowing chemistry, some one-sided and many more. The betrayal ones are not in here because I wouldn't consider that 'love', I'd say that an opportunistic convenient choice. So with the options available, where should we be ? Hard to say. Searching for buckets may be very tedious and takes the mind off the real stuff - 'the bond'. However, time and resource are limited. We are a limited edition of ourselves, we cannot be burnt out, so we do need to optimize that. The emotionally fulfilling and long-lasting ones are the 'nurturing in nature' kind. Here, you feel needed, are open to be vulnerability, receive the emotional support and possibly find the happiness that a family often can provide. You build together in good and bad times. Being part of today's world has made 'test of time' a hard one. This is why we probably hear cases like 'Wife divorses when husband lost million dollars'....wasn't that predictable? I sound judgemental but the fundamentals will always matter. If one builds on unethical, convenient terms, you reap just that. Doesn't mean it was not love, it was of a different kind. Remember I said we are looking for the 'Nurturing Kind'. If you find the 'nurturing' and 'chemistry' together - hands down, I say that's the one I'd keep. I'm pretty good at keeping my word, I delay giving it thus. Take your time, build the right one, that's about it.

Loyalty plays a big role too. Once you find that combination, there's more. There's going to be a plethora of choices. The more emotionally secure you get (which often happens as a result of a committed relation), you attract more of that. That's a good thing. However, now's where your grey matter gets tested. Anytime, one must remember, there is no perfect. There is always someone smarter, prettier, fairer, slimer, wiser and more fanciful. New and shiny is nice but the little jeep from your childhood has more value right? Why? Because you've invested on it and the bond's price is much higher than just the fanciful features. It's a call you got to take. However, one must remember, you won't be on the winning side always. A great bond can be established only with staying through the 'lows' also. Without that, it's just a boy's toy who never understood the value of what went into making it.

Like the clouds, the kind of 'love bucket' will help you predict the future.

[Inspiration - While watching a debatable movie 'Chokher Bali', I ended up with some abstract ideas. This post is part of it.]


The nature of relation I have shown my analogy on is just the 'exclusive kind'. Any other has been excluded. FYI - assumption made.

Some people. Some memories

The month of love. This one's dedicated to the little void one left in me, now for many years. My grandmother (Hindi-Nani, Bengali-Didu)

Some people become so intricately tangled with life, their own existence can never be forgotten, their absence creates a permanent void. Them we will always miss....or what we could say 'I'm missing a part of my soul'

My grandmother was that person. She came from extremely humble backgrounds and yet her thoughts in terms of social discrimination were richer than many well read scholars (personal data set). Her food was beyond perfect and her ability to give was beyond comprehension. As children, she became an intricate part of our lives. The two siblings we were, fought, ate, ran and grew up on her courtyard.

Like every other void in life, she was that which didn't take us by surprise but taught me to take life seriously. My little niece (5years) stood at her sick bedside and I hung on to her. This was it....my world had come tumbling down and in a rare few seconds I could see all of the people I loved going down the same way. The thing about death is it shows us humans how petty we really are. Nothing could save our little magical grandmother. And the void grew deeper with time.

Sometimes we forget but when I hear of something that reminds me of her, it really does bring back that void. In memory of my little golden grandmother, I hope there are more people like her.

The unheard tales

To fabbles and mysteries,
To tales and stories,
Some are said,
Some are unsaid,
But most of them go unheard;

In the head, a little voice calls,
In the head it stays,
We make a little of it sometimes,
They still dwell just in there;

I happen to find them here and there,
Talking of untold tales,
They are here to stay,
Unless, someone asks enough of the 'unheard tales'