human futility1

Living life might be like breaking boulders to pave way in mountains! But there's just one thing that will save you the effort  rather i should say worth it.Yes u guessed it 'RELATIONS'!
When the bitter ice cold winds will break our bones there is just one word ('son!/daughter') which will force you to say 'what's up dad/mom?need some help i'm right here all there for you' silently wiping that tiny drop that slipped out.When something's bothering that mind of yours, getting on your nerves yet that shy you keeps secrets!Here you go...... a small hug and the thing is done you will blabber out the day's hardships.All that you couldn't till now.As if the butter just melt in the microwave!;) There's some heat in that thing some thing which is inexplicable (for i prove newton wrong as energy is supposed to be conserved!).On the other side if you've just had a strike your already in tears trying very hard to disagree with every single word and it gets all the more difficult!  

you should obviously be thinking of sights and scenes beyond my thoughts and it's my soul responsibility to stop you of this devastating end.This whole thing only revolves around a sacrifice for the family though
of course I  have no objections if throughout you want to feel such for your better half.........'better half' I will go into that controversy some other day!


I will merely share an experience which will make things clearer for those who r still unaware of this special fruit we bear which is priceless but has a limitation- it's lifespan!Of course some dashing bros have already thought this is an usual bluff an author uses.SMART ONES!in that case just change the underwritten gender smartly as u read on! :)
Ivira was still in those odd moods.Recently a lot of things had unwound the way she'd not like them to.It was too upsetting and she would have burst if only she could.She winked to herself trying to figure out her few lost kilos figure on the mirror just to clear up the messes.In vein! She was going mad and she had to hold it.Any catalyst and she would react.

slowly sleep walked in

She was facing realities some she knew but refused to believe.The resent ones had strewed up her sleeves and they were just to come alive like water gushing out of some vent in the so commonly seen municipal pipes!Wrapping herself tight in the white spreads , her fists holding tight every inch of it, she forcibly shut her eyes closed the gateway to her tears and tried some sleep.Unconsciously  she left the place into a whole new world where she felt she belonged more. But HO!why was this dark again?Her footsteps following those unheard voices while she consciously tried to revert her steps.Half sliding the door open she saw those 2 dark figures against that bring sun making gestures  that clearly stated they weren't happy.Like devil had taken over them and she the helpless being stayed witness to all.There wasn't much to say but that things were complex enough and that things weren't like she thought 'right & wrong'.She felt that despair in her heart that bore a hole so deep it almost killed her......and the sudden 'THUD'. 'OUCH' she screamed , she had fallen over.She woke up rubbing her eyes not feeling the physical pain much .......... somewhere those feelings were returning again and again!Today she had to stay alone, awake and be a TV mate.There was enough time for her to enjoy loneliness and yet today she would have given anything to have just one moment with her parents.How about ringing them?ha?How could she........she was upset with them.And the lamest feeling that caused her to fear the reality ,she challenged it! 




SHE was always the type invincible never succumb to the omnipotent.If you'd see her she'd be on your mind(like omnipresent) a week or 2!



You must be feeling what a devil she was!Indeed I bet I'd agree unless of course you've seen the other part.She was an epitome of truth,honesty,justice.Oh so all women are-here comes the SMARTYS again!Of course all women!
1) Firstly I'd be offended if you call this one a woman as she's a girl or a lady at most.
2)Secondly she was not just after her friends and bfs bossing away it was more in her little life and she actually started with herself.......she was almost perfect and definitely preached what she practised!What fatal madness had taken over her was simply because some injustice had been met out by mere humans and believe it the fault  lied on both sides.Thoughtfully she stirred her hot soup and eventually her soup stick was whether away and her finger sensed the heat ringing her back to the world.She decides to keep this little mystery a secret unless she's ready to say it.........and what right do i have to unfold so.But my inquisitive readers I can share with u the other side of the mirror.Let's see the refracted light's behaviour!

Ivira the hard core devil never believed in love,marriage.She thought all men were born flirts and women either angel/bitch!Beyond this outer she was something more.She never believed in things that she actually felt more than maybe anyone even u!She had a life which she lead not with her conditions rather i should say she was 'the oblivion part' in her own life.She breathed every breath in the name of a bond.She loved her parents and her sister immensely so much that she couldn't think of their end but solemnly pledged her life into any little errand that they may have wished.In return she was luckier than Cinderella she had the perfect family!They loved her back like anything.It was a difficult relation if u were to see it from my point.
for eg.She stand in front of a wonderful dress and glares at it, the moment her mother approaches her she flees for the escalator ! u guessed it the Bday gift it will make to her wardrobe.Surreal isn't it?She has a secret a pledge she bears deep within ......... i too know nothing of it but my friend i feel it must have somewhere some relation with her parents.She lives not her life.......it's a bargained life. Only human can be so unreasonable and the SMARTYS call it 'futile' and i 'human futility'!The last drop of soup she struggled with and goes on her just life and i adore her for being so perfect and in front i feel so little, so lame and so cowardly.

savour

when on land
we pave our path 
and clear out what lies our way,
the ice cutter we use
to cut away the beautifully covered path;


see we not it's tears
for we may be moved,
time is too short
to softly move it away;
.............................

when the storm is yet to hit

.......today I'll share a unique experience
read it well to get it; if I delay i.e. not in such odd hours they might lose their life;


Ariana had just another reason
to offend herself
 had she once again found the undaunted courage?
that which you'll probably associate with a male,
and that in a girl you should fear!
that which shall bring tears to most
and shudders down the rest in the race;


so humble and sweet were her eyes
that spoke a million truth
a criminal would say it never lied
yet there were those inexplicable mysterious moments! 
when she'd lose herself to nothing
and run errands which she knows she'll fail;                




I do not believe in the unattainable
she said to herself
 when once she remembers 
some corny words down her drums-'low confidence',
timid she was always
yet she saw no end with her blue eyes so open
dreams she could see
and this one she couldn't explain;


yet she decided to run this failed mission...

the undaunted she

I have nothing to lose says she
I'm true to myself and shall preserve it to thee
with daunting spirit she smoothly ran ...
......ran her fleecy white gown over the wilderness
and seem it as if it were so easy
in her heart she knew what lay
when the piercing stones cut through her feet
such gory scene
might cause you to flee or stimulate your adrenalin 
yet she kept her plastic smile 
and when soil did nourish them moist
she thought it was the only cure,
barely strangling her reasons off
least she finds her sole unsure!  
when further she slept through nights without a fire
where the wild was in every way 
weathering her down beyond desire
she chose the night 
to lend her a dark blanket to cover
and when the errand was Alas over
she emerged as the winner!


A winner of spirit who had lost almost everything
but found joy in what I say solitude,
In spite of  the deep wounds that it left
it had left bruises that will perish her existence
and they will remind her of her chivalry!
In the end she found a friend-so true
that heaved her bosom heavy
yet left her life more settled,
She could return to the forest again
to pour her heaviness in the stream........


so piercing was the pain
like hammering nail on icicle, 
in front of your very own eyes
a cenotaph is made
where the lame ice has offered it's stay
after it's shattered
but this mettle was different
it shall withstand the storm,
see the morning again
and keep this memory an experience to be treasured! 

desert maid

rising from the desert storm,
a desert maid I am;
lying in the arms of the sand
low below the dusky sky;

in my hand I take some sand
out they slip one by one;
counting I need to learn again
for I cannot number them out;


sweet like dessert
yet I have no choice;
rose I from the desert
and here I return......
.....a change to open my eyes and see my creator
but never be a part of it;
lost i'm here
will someone realise i'm not to be found?
but remain sweet memory
like your dessert in dinner!


with hands so hot
and winds so harsh;
skin so dark
and water so scarce;


I am a granule among these dunes
a rose in the desert
that thrives on air 
and rises from nowhere;


here we live with our
distant relatives;
the sun , moon and earth;


I rise from dust 
and shall vanish here;
but remains my mark
.......which slowly the winds shall change;


remains so strong 
that winds be lame;
on hitting it
it shall turn to breeze;


such are the mortals here for
a change that will live on..............
rest will return with the wind

rising from the desert storm,
a desert maid I am;
lying in the arms of the sand
low below the dusky sky........

when u are defeated

when was it last when u were defeated?........think carefully, to a great deal of astonishment.......when on earth were we defeated.......'when those roaring chides were chasing our eardrums', 'when we had so much to say and she just walked over the grass......', 'when our friends don't seem to realise we are juast as much wrong as they are and yet we love each other', 'when we are upset and we cry as soon as our mothers hug us tight and yet we say nothing','when the world seems to be too much to bear'......
and yet again after the cry is over after the pain is felt we want a revenge......we want ourselves back......'the young topper','the earner of his dreams'.'the creator of his wishes'.....we want to be the self as before and in the strive we still live.........living to know one day we will succeed.....these unknown unending errands that we run ........cheers to it........to all the human race who knows we shall overcome!And plenty amny do it everyday,,,,,where we see the passion wins.....the pen with which faith wrote has failed and the new story begins.........happy new life to everyone and congrats for the constant trial for what we want that's the reason why we live.......the JUNOON.

the lazy morning bristled by
i wished i had another hour to sleep at my will
for daddy had called me up;
rolling eyes that seemed so lifeless
and mostly aimless....
i struggled with the dresses;

another day another chance
to show taht the lazy me can stay awake
and do that that it wanted
a strong power took over me
i was all powerful,omnipotent
and went out to rule the world
another day when i was human.......the cause to live on

the last train

when you can't decide i thought it's better i let the train go

it often happens amidst those large eyes of the world we seem to loose ourselves and find ourselves where we know everything and yet not know  what to choose.........when the tractor works if it though it would stop because it doesn't know whether it wants the farmer's food or run over the soil........we think and we stop almost everywhere and finally with a hand on those delicate thoughts we decide........here we go from where i stood

'this whole poem hints on the stuff that in any case in life if you aren't sure of the journey ahead........let the other thing free ....... don't stop someone Else's growth......'

rushing too
to catch up with the pace,
running into the crowd
pushing,thrashing to make my way
in the race, life's race!

snow capped mountains
satellite like eyes on me,
holding my camera more desperately
to capture the life in no-life,
how irony had laughed it's share
and mortals lived a lifeless life
and pushed me too;

the 2'oclock frost
was harsh on the face,
as if it took my gloves away
and i felt bare in front of it;

the morning was
supposed to be sunny,
how mortals are defeated in their game
and still they try,
they must go on they say;

i stood on the tracks
i was to bode the train anyways,
standing on the track would only
slow the train faster
and may be awake those sloppy guards out there!

not so easy.......
perhaps the jerks were so terrible
i waited at the station,
still living the pushed life
not thinking but acting as expected;

owner of ourselves
why do we not think?
......thoughts were piercing my head
they wanted to push in
and i repelled them weakly;

they won
i lost,
the boding was the usually done,
but the ticket can be thrown away too
if I'm not sure;

the train man smoked the engine
sounded his whistle
screamed at me
almost forced me in,
but i wasn't giving in........

"don't wait for me......start your journey,
if ever i decide i want to board this train
I'll catch you on the way
if you ave a seat
but today i can't decide
and won't stop you because
there are many others who have decided
to take this journey".........

AND THE TRAIN WAS GONE!!

the first train........the last train all the same......if we are not sure we want to leave we shouldn't i feel.........